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“Is that why you love fighting with me while I fuck you? It makes you feel like you’re not complicit in my behavior?” His mouth twitches into a smirk, “If you act a little angry at first, then you don’t feel guilty when you’re riding my dick like your life depends on it?”
“Colson,” I take a breath, “you are a nightmare. You can be scary as hell and you hide it perfectly. But, for some reason, I still like being with you. I still like sitting with you in your darkness.”
“Listen closely, Honeybee,” Colson groans into my ear as my chest heaves, “mine is the only touch that will make you feel anything ever again, and my touch is the one you’ll long for, no matter how far you try to run. After being dead for so long, your voice is what brought me back to life, and your pulse is what keeps my heart beating. You have all of me, forever, no matter what. And whether or not you know it yet, I’m the one you’ll always come back to. Because I’m your home now, and you are mine.”
“Put. A. Gun. In. Your. Mouth.”
“You know I love you more than anything and I’ll give you everything under the sun.” Suddenly, his hands fly up to cup my face, giving me a start, “I’ll never let anyone hurt you and I’ll never let anyone take you away from me. Because you are everything to me.” A second later, his eyes darken and he lowers his voice again, “But I promise you, if you ever betray me, I’ll be your worst fucking nightmare.”
“It’s illegal to hunt bigger game like deer right now,” he concentrates on his target, “but not you.”
“I’ll give you a head start.” I take a deep breath and gather my wits before lifting my head and looking right back at him, “What happens if you don’t find me?” He tucks his Glock back into the waist of his jeans and kneels down, “Impossible,” he pinches my chin between his thumb and forefinger, glaring at me, “I’ll always find you.” “Good,” I shoot him a sardonic smile, refusing to succumb to the fear responses riddling my body, “because I’ll never run from you.”
“but you’d let him watch?” He dips his fingers inside me, coating his fingers again, “I’d let him watch you come all over my cock and then laugh when he can’t do anything about it.”
“God’s not out here, baby girl,” his voice is thick like syrup, “it’s just you and me.
“You know I’ll always take care of you, baby girl,” he breathes, “I’ve been waiting for you,” he bows his head and runs his tongue up my chest in a slow kiss, “you’re my goddess, my fucking queen, no one exists but you, and I’ll give you anything you want.”
I’ll eat you alive, you sneaky bitch.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to come back to you.”
“I will never apologize for being close to you,” he growls, “I’ll be a slave for you, I’ll kill for you, I’ll burn the world down around you, but if you want to get rid of me,” the corner of his mouth spasms with malice, “you’ll have to put a bullet between my eyes.”
“Then say it, baby,” he taunts, “say you don’t still want me. Tell me you don’t need my cum running out of you to make you feel alive.”
“You’re such a good fucking girl,” he drawls, “you look incredible, taking my knife just as good as my dick.”
“Listen closely, because I’m only going to say this once,” his tone is even and measured, but no less threatening, “if he leaves one more mark on you, I’m not waiting, I’m coming for him.”
“Yeah, baby girl?”
“You know I’ll always take care of you, baby girl,” he coos to her in his sickening drawl, “I’ve been waiting for you,” he kisses her chest, “you’re my goddess. My fucking queen. Nobody exists but you. And I’ll give you anything you want.”
“You wanted me to find you. I almost put a bullet through your head, and you still loved me,” Colson growls, “because I am your worst. Fucking. Nightmare.”
“You gonna pull the trigger, Brett?” Colson snarls, “Do it! Before I bend you over my table. If you thought Bowen’s gun was bad, wait ‘til you see what I’m going to do.” His voice reverberates against my face, “You’ll be wishing for death!”
“There are worse things than dying, Brett,” my voice returns to its normal tone, “like what happens before the lights go out, or living with the aftermath. But I’ll let you kill me over and over if it’ll give you something back that you lost. Fortunately for me,” I slowly reach up and pull the gun from her grasp, “you don’t know what a loaded gun feels like.”
“Well,” I shift my weight, crossing my arms, “he was also searching for a ghost, and found you. You just had the misfortune of searching for me and finding a demon.”
“What’s the point of being a ghost if you can’t scare people?”
“You didn’t need a leash last time, either,” I loop the belt over her head and gently pull her hair out from under it, “but I know how much you love wearing mine.”
“Good,” I snarl, pinning her legs tighter in the crook of my arms, “that’s all placeholders are for,” I grind harder, driving her wild, “and he was nothing but a placeholder for my girl to use until I came home to her. My good…fucking…girl…”
The earth always balances itself out. It never forgives, it never forgets, and it has no respect for the wanton destruction inflicted by humans. And neither do I.
That’s why I had to make sure he was actually here, on my property, in front of my eyes. Because you can’t kill ghosts with bullets or knives.
He has a heart, and many have loved him, but he only loves himself. He’ll never know what loving good feels like, or what it’s like to be part of something bigger than himself; that love that makes you lay down your life for someone else or that all-encompassing love that tears you apart at the seams.
There was only ever one of us who was going to make it out of Brett’s story alive. Only one of us who was going to make it to the last page in one piece. Only one voice left to say how it ends…or begins. Because now that I have her, I’ll set this entire world on fire before I ever leave her again.
“Colson once told me that love is choosing who you want to walk through a lifetime of pain and trauma with, so I guess none of us can escape it.”
