The Forever War

by Joe Haldeman

He laughed. ‘No, it’s illegal to clone humans. The main problem is with, uh, you’re heterosexual.’ ‘Oh, that’s no problem. I’m tolerant.’ ‘Yes, your profile shows that you … think you’re tolerant, but that’s not the problem, exactly.’ ‘Oh.’ I knew what he was going to say. Not the details, but the substance. ‘Only emotionally stable people are drafted into UNEF. I know this is hard for you to accept, but heterosexuality is considered an emotional dysfunction. Relatively easy to cure.’ ‘If they think they’re going to cure me—’ ‘Relax, you’re too old.’ He took a delicate sip. ‘It won’t be as hard to get along with them as you might—’ ‘Wait. You mean nobody … everybody in my company is homosexual? But me?’ ‘William, everybody on Earth is homosexual. Except for a thousand or so; veterans and incurables.’ ‘Ah.’ What could I say? ‘Seems like a drastic way to solve the population problem.’ ‘Perhaps. It does work, though; Earth’s population is stable at just under a billion. When one person dies or goes offplanet, another is quickened.’ ‘Not “born.” ’ ‘Born, yes, but not the old-fashioned way. Your old term for it was “test-tube babies,” but of course they don’t use a test-tube.’ ‘Well, that’s something.’ ‘Part of every creche is an artificial womb that takes care of a person the first eight or ten months after quickening. What you would call birth takes place over a period of days; it isn’t the sudden, drastic event that it used to be.’ O brave new world, I thought. ‘No birth tra...