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PROLOGUE NEARLY ONE YEAR AGO… August
Ana Maybe it’s time for me to delete this anonymous chat and find someone who appreciates my charm AND has no problem meeting up in person after spending the last few weeks messaging nonstop. Laurence Giving up already? Ana Your sunny disposition is starting to wear on me a bit. Laurence Your jokes are improving. I nearly laughed. Ana Is there hope for me yet? Laurence I hate to break it to you, but I have about as much hope as I do faith.
Ana This place will warm up to you eventually. Mark my words. Laurence Nearly impossible with the brutal winters. Ana I take it you’re not from somewhere cold. Laurence Hell is known to have the same temp year-round. Ana You’re funny. Laurence Your bar is far too low. Ana At least it’s easier for you to hit. Laurence You should expect more from people. Ana Why? Laurence Because if not, then you’ll end up with someone like me. Ana Is that supposed to be a bad thing? Laurence You have no idea.
September
Ana Do you ever feel lonely? Laurence No. Ana Let me guess: You enjoy your own company way too much. Laurence You’d understand if you heard the voice in my head. Ana You struggle with that too? I thought I was the only one. Ana Does yours always tell you to treat yourself to a sweet treat or new outfit when you’ve been mildly inconvenienced? Laurence No. Ana Oh. That’s disappointing. Perhaps you should seek professional help then. Laurence Why do you feel lonely? Ana Forget about me. We’re focusing on you for once. Laurence If I answer your question honestly, will you tell me? Ana Aw. You care
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Laurence Answer my question. Ana It might seem silly to someone who doesn’t care for other people’s company. Laurence I like yours. Ana is offline Ana is online Ana Sorry for the delay. I had to check if I accidentally fell asleep at work and started dreaming. Laurence And how did you do that? Ana It’s best you don’t ask. Laurence You’re… Ana The most special woman you’ve ever met? Laurence No. You’re the most special *person* I’ve ever met.
So, you’re shipwrecked on an island and you can only bring three things. What are they? Laurence Things or people? Ana We both know you’d never willingly choose to be trapped with another human being. Laurence True. Or at least it was until I met you.
October
Ana There’s a Halloween party tomorrow at Last Call. I think it would be fun. Laurence Nice. Enjoy. Ana You should go. Laurence I’m busy. Ana Your blood sacrifices can wait. Laurence Tell that to the full moon. Ana I hope you’re joking. Please tell me you’re kidding. Ana It’s been five minutes and I’m still waiting for an answer. Laurence Let’s leave it up to your imagination. Ana How about we don’t since it tends to run a bit wild. Laurence This is your daily reminder that I’m not some vampire or werewolf.
Ana Please come to the party. Don’t make me beg. Laurence I’d rather you didn’t. I find submissiveness rather unattractive. Ana Funny because I feel the same way about someone running scared. Laurence I’m not scared. Ana Right. Sure you aren’t. Laurence Why are you pushing for us to meet up? Ana I’m done giving you time to get to know me first. Tomorrow is your only chance. I’ll be dressed like a cowgirl. Pink hat. Lots of sparkles. Most likely to be found out on the dance floor with a passion fruit vodka seltzer in hand. Laurence I won’t be attending. Ana What a shame. If you don’t show up,
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Laurence When you see this, run. Laurence attached a photo Ana Run where? Straight into your arms? Laurence Why am I not surprised? Ana How did you get a mask like that on short notice? Laurence Don’t worry about it. Ana Please. The only thing I’m worried about is the way I’ll react in public once we finally meet.
Lorenzo
She was never yours to keep. Ignoring the knot of unease growing in my chest, I slip my mask over my face and enter the crowded bar. I’ve never seen Last Call this packed before, the entire space full of people wearing a variety of costumes, all of which required far more effort than my plain black shirt, jeans, and light-up mask with neon blue stitching for the eyes and mouth. I search the room full of people for the woman who has plagued my mind since she first messaged me. I’ve spent two months wondering if every woman I talk to is her.
I had no business pursuing once I determined I would never choose her to be my fake fiancée. I couldn’t. I tried to let her go, but I failed. Then I tried again, only to end up right where Ana wants me, searching the dance floor for a woman dressed in a pink, sparkly dress and matching cowboy hat.
It’s as if someone drove an invisible wedge down the center of the dance floor, separating people to reveal Ana at the center, a glow from a random spotlight shining down on her. Or should I call her Liliana. My heart, which has been acting up ever since I walked into the bar, picks up speed, the bass from the loud music adding to the intense pulsing sensation in my ears. I take a step back, and then another, only to stumble on my third when Lily locks eyes with me.
I’m stunned, my useless body on standby as she heads over to me. Her steps are confident as she walks in my direction, all while I stare, trying to make sense of the fact that my Ana is none other than Liliana Muñoz. It must be a trick. It doesn’t make sense that someone who attracts positive attention and exudes kindness with every interaction likes me.
In all the scenarios I’ve imagined, Ana wasn’t the same ethereal woman whose smile dazzled me nearly a year ago when she slid into the empty seat beside me at church, her brown eyes warm and welcoming as they swept over me. “So you’re the one everyone is talking about this week,” she says. “I feel like I’m at a disadvantage because I have no idea who you are.” Her smile remains, somehow even brighter than before. “Lily Muñoz.” She holds her hand out, and I hesitate to reach for it. I don’t like to touch others unless necessary, but the longer her hand hangs in the air, the more inclined I am
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“Lorenzo Vittori.” My voice drops an octave. “Nice to meet you, Lorenzo,” she replies, my name sounding like pure sin from her luscious lips. “So,” I whisper. “I feel compelled to ask: What exactly are people saying about me?” She laughs—a sound that makes me feel closer to heaven than any religious service or gospel. “I don’t like to gossip.” “You just enjoy listening to it, then?” “Guilty as charged.” She winks, and all hell breaks loose in my stomach as—I can’t believe I’m saying this—butterflies take flight.
“Well, well. Look who decided to show up after all.” Lily traces a line up the center of my chest with her index finger, leaving a path of heated skin in her wake. I stay quiet because I’m unsure if she’d be able to recognize my voice from all the mayoral ads playing on local TV. “Are we playing the silent game?” She teases the bottom of my mask with her thumb while her pinky tickles my throat. I shiver, the reaction far from subtle. Her smile grows impossibly large. “Fine. It’s a good thing you don’t need to talk while dancing.”
I hand over my control for ten minutes. Ten all-too-short minutes that fly by before I’m promising myself another five. But then fifteen turns into thirty, and next thing I know, Lily is fully in charge of our ruin as she tows me through the crowd and down a back hallway. All she needs to do is throw me a secretive smile from over her shoulder, and every previous reservation I had about taking this further disappears.
I have no idea where she is taking me, but we somehow end up outside. The emergency exit door slams shut behind us before she cages me against it. Since when are you the type to relinquish control? The anxious voice bleeds into the moment, threatening to destroy it. This isn’t you, my instincts scream. Run now before it’s too late, the voice reminds me as Lily closes the gap between us until our chests touch. There is a playful glint in her eyes as she slips her hand under my mask and teases my bottom lip with her thumb. A tingle erupts from a single pass, and before I think better of it, I
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I process how I want to rip my mask off and crush my mouth to hers, devouring her in a way that leaves her desperate for relief. A relief I desperately need as well. An image of her in my bed, wrapped up in my sheets, wearing nothing but my marks on her neck brings my fantasies to a screeching halt. A fake relationship can’t work between two people who desire each other. Too many lines would be blurred, and every limit I’ve set would be challenged. Maybe even destroyed.
I’m about to put a stop to all this, but then she traces a path of kisses down the column of my throat, stealing my breath and the words right from my mouth. Pathetic, the same voice returns, louder than before. My hands find her hips, not to keep her at a distance like I originally intended, but to drag her closer. She smiles against my pebbled skin. “Are you going to hide behind a mask all night, or are you going to finally show me who I’ve been dreaming of for two months?” Fuck. Me.
“Because as much as I’d love to explore this new mask kink of mine, I have a different idea about how I want tonight to go for us.” “Like?” “I’d rather show you.” Her eyes are so bright, so full of hope as she lifts my mask up. I don’t have a chance to stop her, or maybe I didn’t make enough effort to as Lily finally comes face-to-face with Laurence.
I crush my mouth to hers. One kiss to remember her by, I promise myself, embracing the rush of energy coursing through my body as she single-handedly ruins every future kiss for me. She might as well be my first and my last because no one from my past compares, and there won’t be a single person who ever will.
I hope you never forgive me for hurting you, I think to myself when she returns my kiss with equal enthusiasm. She tastes of passion fruit and sweet temptation, a forbidden combination that I could become addicted to. I hope you find every reason to hate me and hold on to it, I silently add as I slide my hands through her hair and tilt her head back so I can better plunder her mouth. And I hope that one day, I’ll stop hating myself for letting you go.
I despise the weak person I am and the anxiety I struggle with. The same anxiety that demands for me to push Lily away, not because she deserves better, but because I won’t be better. I don’t know how. Don’t want to figure it out either, in part because I’m scared. I’m selfish. I’m too damn focused on my goal to get distracted by some fantasy that was never mine.
“Where are you going?” Her voice gives her distress away, making my stomach churn. “This was a terrible idea.” I keep my tone flat. Emotionless. No room for misinterpretation about where I stand on the asshole spectrum. “What?” “You. Me… We were a mistake.” She flinches, adding to the dark cloud of hatred following me everywhere I go. A feeling of self-loathing that I’m all too familiar with, and one that will eat away at me until all I’m left with are a bunch of regrets, but none as big as this one. I can feel it from the very first step I take.
Ana Are we going to talk about last night? Or the fact that you’re Lorenzo fucking Vittori? Laurence is offline Ana Don’t be an asshole. Talk to me. Ana is offline Ana Seriously? You’re going to keep reading my messages and ignoring me after talking to each other every single day? Laurence is offline Ana Are you pushing me away because of Julian and Rafa? They’re overbearing at times but completely harmless. Trust me. They stopped getting involved in my love life long ago. Ana is offline Ana I could pull you aside in public and force you to talk to me about all this, but I’m afraid of what you
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Ana When you saw me at the animal shelter and acted like you’d never met me before in front of the volunteer team, it felt like you took my heart and smashed it into a thousand pieces to match yours. Ana If you want to pretend we’re strangers, fine. I’ll be sure to do the same.
Ana It’s been a while since I sent a message, but I’m a little drunk. By a little, I mean wastedddd. Sloshed. Hammered. Borracha. Ana is offline Ana My sister tried to take my phone away but I’m back and here to say I wish I didn’t ruin everything after our kiss. You warned me about what would happen if I opened my eyes, but I didn’t listen. I just…
Ana I didn’t want to pretend anymore. Just like I don’t want to pretend now. I don’t care if you’re Lorenzo or Laurence. I like you despite all the reasons I shouldn’t, and it makes me hate myself.
Ana Well, talk about embarrassing, but not nearly as bad as how I looked when you walked into my shop and asked me to make bouquets for another woman. Ana I finally realized that I was a challenge rather than the endgame. Ana has deactivated her account
LILY
I spot the matching envelope to the one I received with the town’s crest on the upper left-hand corner. My vivid imagination gets the best of me, and I’m overwhelmed by images of my mom reading the notice tomorrow before she opens the flower shop for the day. I can picture her breaking down when she learns how a condemnation act works. She’d spiral once she figures out that local governments are allowed to buy properties regardless if someone wants to sell or not, so long as there is appropriate, fair market compensation.
It’s stuffy inside thanks to the faded upholstery and constant exposure to the hot June sun, but it’s nothing that blasting the AC can’t fix. I plug my key into the ignition and turn it, only for my heart to drop at the telltale clicking sound. “No.” I groan while turning the key again. The dead battery doesn’t respond to my second or third try, so I spend the next few minutes researching tips and tricks. By my fifth failed attempt, I give up on Google and pop the hood open.
I shoot daggers at the engine until the sound of shoes clapping against the sidewalk steals my attention. I’m about to wave the person down, only to stop when I find a pair of dark brown eyes already focused on me. If eyes are the window to the soul, Lorenzo Vittori must lack one, because his blank stare gives absolutely nothing away. It remains emotionless as his eyes ever so slowly rove down my body—a reaction he can’t seem to help whenever I’m around. Today’s outfit is bland at best, like most of my neutral colors lately. Ditching my bright clothes didn’t happen overnight, but rather it
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His gaze dips. “You’ve got a stain on your pants.” I take a jump back with a gasp, the muscles in my neck spasming from how quickly I look down to assess the white linen material. “Where?” He effectively slips through the gap and starts tinkering around underneath my hood. I never allow my stare to linger on him, but today I’m taken aback by his nearness. Laurence—or should I say Lorenzo—once told me he liked cars, but I didn’t know he could repair them.
His voice startles me, but it’s his narrowed eyes that make me want to die of humiliation. Shit. My face turns hot. What did he say? When I don’t reply fast enough, Lorenzo raises a single brow. “When’s the last time you got an oil change?” Oh. I’m quick to look down at the metal stick in his hands. “Uh…let me see.” I take the opportunity to add some distance and get a hold of myself. It’s a valiant effort that’s ruined when I accidentally brush against his back with my shoulder, sending sparks down my arm. He bristles at the contact, adding to my embarrassment as I dart around him to check
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“I’m going to grab my phone and call the mechanic. He can come out and take a look.” “The shop’s closed already.” “Great,” I mumble to myself. He shuts my hood. “I can give you a ride home.” “I’d rather walk.” “In the middle of a heat wave?” I give his suit a quick pass. “I don’t see you struggling.” “This is nothing compared to Vegas.” “Huh. And here I thought you spent the last two decades in hell.” “Sure felt like it sometimes.”
“Do you want a ride or not?” He pulls out his key ring from the interior pocket of his jacket. “I don’t have a lot of time before my next meeting.” I stare at him without saying anything. “I’ll even call Manny on the way and ask him to come here first thing tomorrow morning.” My brows rise. “I wasn’t aware that you’re on a first-name basis with the town’s mechanic.” “He didn’t give me much of a choice.” “Aw. Look at you making a friend. Should I warn him about what happens when anyone gets too close?” “You and I were never friends.” A sharp pain shoots through my chest. “Great. Since you
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“Thanks for the help.” I lock up my car without looking at him. “You hate me that much?” he says, low enough for no one around to hear us. I start walking in the opposite direction without replying. I don’t look back because I’m too afraid of my eyes revealing the answer to his question.
LORENZO
Like clockwork, I stop by Rose & Thorn every week to pick up my two bouquets. The task has become an essential part of my routine and, frankly, something I’ve looked forward to since I moved to Lake Wisteria almost two years ago. My schedule of campaigning and never-ending meetings can be taxing at times, but something about the floral shop located in the town’s quiet Historic District and the carefree florist who runs it breaks up the monotony of my life. The same florist who chose a grueling, thirty-minute walk in the middle of a heat wave over my offer to drive her home. I’m reminded of
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I try to remind myself that Lily isn’t my problem—how I made sure she would never become one either—but then I remember the state of her testing dipstick, worn tires, and serpentine belt, which looks one rotation away from breaking. Given her stubbornness and general dislike toward me, I don’t trust Lily to follow up with most of the concerns I noted, so I’ll take it upon myself to make sure her car gets the full workup. If the Lopez cousins get pissed off about it, even better.
Manny Fine. I’ll send an invoice for the battery and belt, but friends and family get free oil changes. Me Thanks. The tow truck will drop off Lily’s car in an hour. Manny Lily…Muñoz? Me Yes? Manny Interesting. Manny You sure you don’t want to ask her out on a date? I ignore his question and ask one of my own. Me Fix the car first thing in the morning? Manny Morning? I plan on heading to the shop now and getting started once it arrives. My good deed is quickly spiraling into something else thanks to Manny’s ability to romanticize the mundane.
Manny Nonsense. Can you imagine what she’ll think about you if she wakes up to find out you already had her car fixed? Doubt anything will change her opinion of me, but Manny isn’t aware of what happened between Lily and me. No one is. Me I’d rather we not find out. Manny Please. It’ll be part of my best man speech when you get married because of me.
During the charity softball game two weeks ago, he caught me checking out Lily, but he didn’t say anything until after he saw us having a little chat at Last Call after the game. Should Manny decide to make a big deal about this, I’ll remind him and anyone else how I’m helping someone in need…even if that someone happens to be the woman I pushed away because falling in love with her isn’t an option.
“If you had to pick between Lorenzo Vittori and Trevor Ludlow, who do you think would do a better job protecting the town’s interests?” It’s nearly a clean sweep in Trevor’s favor despite his family playing a significant role in all their concerns, and it makes me question what I’m doing wrong because I’m campaigning in their best interests. Trevor Ludlow—like his father, who is retiring this election season—comes from a long line of town mayors, so his nepotistic connections run deep. Their family is a pillar in the community, while I’m still viewed as an outsider despite my Lake Wisteria
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No one knows the truth about Trevor and what he cost my family, so they have no problem voting for him.