Exodus (The Ravenhood #2)

by Kate Stewart

“You aren’t thinking clearly. What we had was real. No one is that good of an actress.” “I wasn’t acting. I was . . . masking. I wanted it to work. A lot of the time, I believed it was.”

One that doesn’t hurt you. I don’t care about my happiness anymore so much, but I refuse to ruin yours. I’ve been selfish enough in my thinking. Find a woman who would move heaven and earth to be good to you. Find her, and one day, maybe you can forgive me. One day, maybe you’ll say you’ll try to forgive me.” “You’ve ruined my life.”

I’m not in love with a memory. I’m still in love with the man standing in front of me. And that truth unleashes an anger inside me that’s been building for years.

“Let me get this straight.” I hear the swish of her bathwater. “Three days ago, you called me to help you with the seating chart for your posh, high society Atlanta wedding, and today you’re in Triple Falls because you had a dream, tore up your wedding dress, broke up with your fiancé, decided to sell your father’s business to a man who ripped you apart, and shortly after your college boyfriend confessed he was still in love with you?” “Yes, I know it sounds crazy but—” “Crazy? No, crazy would be a downgrade. This is a late-season Grey’s Anatomy episode. Everything but the kitchen sink.”

“I’ve really lost it this time, haven’t I?” “No, you did the right thing.” “You think so?” “No, Collin is gorgeous, funny, charming, and your equal in every way.”

“I hate you.” “You love me. But if you don’t love him enough to marry him, you shouldn’t marry him.”

“That man has caused you nothing but pain.” “I know.” “He wrecked you.” “I know. And when I saw him today, I swear to God, my whole body lit up. I didn’t imagine it, Christy, none of it.” “And did he feel the same way?” “Even Ryan said he felt it.” “He said that?” “Yes.”

I hate that I’m still in love with him. I hate that being within feet of him had the same effect on me.”

“Do you want him back?” “I don’t want to love him,” I whisper hoarsely.

Join the club sweet cheeks

“He loves you, you know.” I turn back to where he sits. “Not that I’m encouraging this shit because let me make myself clear, I hate him.

Lol all of my friends to me with every man ive cried over

But no man can rage that much over a woman who means nothing to them. He’s fighting it.”

Because if he’s truly moved on, if he loves her, if he’s happy . . . I suffocate in my skin as I look over at him.

But for me, what Tobias and I had was sacred.

“I got on the highway no less than a hundred times, on my way here, back to you. And the whole time, I prayed you were on your way for me too. That you didn’t mean it when you sent me away, that you were grieving, and you didn’t mean it when you told me not to come back.”

“See, in my new life, I couldn’t make a move without you in mind, hoping every day you saw what happened mattered to me, changed me.”

“Even though you all refused to let me in, I wanted to play my part.”

“So, day by day, I lived this life, hoping it would be enough, praying that I could forget this place, forget you, hate you, but at night . . . when I dream—”

You think you can just come back after all this time and say these things

“Je baise mon poing tous les jours en pensant à toi.” I fuck my fist to you every day. He unbuttons my slacks and slowly pulls them down. “Et je te déteste pendant tout.” And I hate you the whole time.

“Tu dis mon nom quand tu jouis?” Do you call out to me when you come? Yes.

You can’t be here. I won’t let you steal my soul again.

I love you. I love you.

Loving you made me sick, and I don’t ever want to get well.

“You were the most terrifying thing I’d ever seen in my life. You went from the awkward bratty kid to the most beautiful, most vivacious fucking temptation I’ve ever come across. I was so mad they discovered you and hid you from me. And then I was run over when I walked up and was confronted by the most infuriating damn woman—”

“Not only that, he was aware of our plans for him. But you were the middle ground, and he’d already made plans to hand the keys over to you.” “Why would he agree to any of this, trust you, knowing who you were and your intentions?” His eyes bore into mine. “Because that day, I told him I was in love with his daughter.”

“I heard every word you spoke last night. You still love me.” “Tu me rends tellement fou!” You make me so goddamn crazy!

“And just how do you see this playing out? You think I’ll what . . . marry you?!” He shakes his head as if it’s a ridiculous notion. His cruelty knows no bounds. “You think we’re just going to ride off into the sunset, that we both can forget? Too much has happened; you shouldn’t forgive me. You won’t forget the things I have done to you. I can’t forget the things I have done to you,

Love and sex don’t help anything.

You stole my heart, and you let me love you with it, and you made damn sure I knew where its home was.

“I was always meant to be yours. You said so yourself before everything went to hell.

That’s why my mind won’t let me forget, that’s why my heart continues to torture me. It doesn’t matter how it happened, but make no mistake, you made it happen.”

You can talk in absolutes all you want, but your hold is still as tight as it was. I feel it. Every single fucking day, I feel it. You haven’t let me go no more than I have you. I don’t want your forgiveness because you will never have mine. But I’m yours.

Whatever parts of my heart they claimed they keep, they have their place with me, but you own the rest. All of it, including my mind, my body, and the fractured remnants of my soul. You’re the victor, and these are your spoils, but you’re too much of a fucking coward to acknowledge it, to accept me, to accept us.

“I came back to make peace, to grieve his loss, to get answers, but I realize now that I also came back to claim the life I want, with you, because despite the guilt, I know we deserve to live out the rest of our punishment together.

We’re the only people who can heal each other. I’m not saying it will be easy, I’m not even saying it will work, but we deserve the chance to try.

“How does it feel to know that when you were fucking your future wife, she was thinking of me?”

AHHHHH SHIITTTTTT

He still loves me, but he refuses to let himself.

“Open the fucking door, Cecelia.” I flip on the porch light as the hairs on my neck rise. He pounds once again, and I open it to see Tobias drenched from the rain, his eyes glossy, his expression stone.

This better be a fucking angry love confession in the rain

“What’s wrong? What happened?” “You happened.

“What pisses me off the most is that I let you go because I don’t want you anymore, and you’re too blind to see that.” “No, what pisses you off the most is any woman you find won’t ever be me.”

YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY FROM THE SOUND OF THE WOMAN THAT LOVES YOUUUU

“How many nights have you touched yourself thinking of me, closed your eyes and thought of me while your fiancé was fucking you?”

AHHHHHH FUCKING SHIT AHHHHHHHHHHHH

“We are nothing,” his voice cracks with his lie. “You love me,” I counter. “You still love me.”

I might be strong enough, but he’s not. He turns and stalks out, leaving the door open.

I am worth it.

don’t think Roman would have made me happy. In fact, I know he wouldn’t have. Doesn’t make my feelings for him less crippling.”

your father was the love of my life. Whether or not he deserved it. We truly don’t get a choice.”

“Il ne me laisse pas l’aimer. Il ne me laisse pas essayer. Je ne sais pas quoi faire.” He won’t let me love him. He won’t let me try. I don’t know what to do.

Wait for me my love. Until we meet again. Until we can feel the rain on both our faces. There has to be a time for us in the next life. I don’t want any part of a heaven where I don’t see you.

Love will never win with men like Roman and Tobias.

For once in my life, I’m okay with letting love lose.