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The men in my life pried my eyes open, made me aware of the war they’ve declared. And I know now if I were faced with the choice, I would scream my decision—all in. Forever in.
For the first time in my life, I’m in the deep end and I no longer want to find my kick; all I want to do is drown . . . in my enemy. He’s the way. The only way. And once I do this, there’s no going back.
He pulls me to him, my back to his front as he rests his head on my pillow, his warm breath hitting my ear. “So was I. Je ne veux pas n’être qu’une phase pour toi.”
“Your heart is not your weakness, Cecelia. It’s mine.”
“Yours. I was always supposed to be yours,” I say as he nods and crushes me with his kiss.
Because the truth is that I no longer hate Tobias King. I’m in love with him.
“After this, you want to watch a movie?” Dominic asks. “You can make that cheddar popcorn I love. We can crowd under that blanket that smells like . . . what’s that smell?” I choke on a fresh wave of fear. “Lavender,” I say as more tears stream down my cheeks. “Yeah. And I’ll let you watch a chick movie because all I really want to do is watch you watch it. Your face gets all dopey when you get love drunk.”
“We love rainy days, don’t we, baby?” Dominic’s voice drifts up as he takes a step toward Matteo.
We both know I was never going to make it to thirty, brother. Take care of her.
In minutes it will all be over, and my only thought is—good—because I don’t want to be anywhere in a world where Dominic doesn’t exist.
“I’ll find you again. I’ll find you in my dreams. We’ll have so many rainy days. I’ll find you—”
Loving you made me sick, and I don’t ever want to get well.
Wait for me my love. Until we meet again. Until we can feel the rain on both our faces. There has to be a time for us in the next life. I don’t want any part of a heaven where I don’t see you.
“If you leave, I’ll come after you. If you change your mind, I’ll change it back. I’ll fight so fucking hard for you every single day, so you never question if you made the right choice.”
