often. He’s been helping his parents at the restaurant this week, and because of my self-enforced slut-shaming, I again missed the opportunity to meet them. What in the hell am I going to say? “Hi, I’m Cecelia. So nice to finally meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Roberts. Why, yes, I am the tramp ass ho having wild, animalistic sex with your son amongst the trees. Why, just the other day we tossed his best friend into the mix—it was quite delightful. And your green bean casserole is delish.”
