Promise Me Not

by Meagan Brandy

“It’s okay not to be okay…even if it’s not for the reason everyone thinks.”

“I’ve got you, Pretty Little. I’m here,” he whispers. “I’ve been here.”

“You called…him?” He speaks the words so low, I almost miss them. With a slight shake of his head, he stumbles back a step. “Mase.” He looks away. “Mason.” He shuffles farther away, and acid bubbles burst in my gut. When his cleats meet the sand, he starts to run. I jerk forward, a barbed wire wrapping around and puncturing my lungs. Panic sets in, and I launch myself toward the stairs “Mason!” I scream. But he doesn’t answer. He’s gone now, too. I fall to my ass and cry until I pass out. Just like I did on this very same night exactly one year ago today.

“Sometimes people fight against things because they’re afraid of how they’ll play out.”

“You know if there is anything you need, anything that you want, anything at all, I’ll give it to you. You know this, right? That if I’m physically capable, it’s yours. You just”—I lick my lips, moving closer—“just ask. Or take. Or—” I break off, shaking my head.

When it comes to you, to both of you, I am selfish. I want all your time. All your tears. All your smiles. I want all of you, always, and I don’t want to share.

“I know what I want, and I want you two to be my whole life.”

“I’m dead serious. I can’t compete with a ghost, so I won’t,” I promise. “He can keep your heart for all eternity. Just let me hold you for all of mine.”

“I love you, Pretty Little.” All the air whooshes from my lungs. “I will wait forever for just the chance you’ll love me back.”