was indeed lucky to die in the way that she did. If I ever think about my own death – which, like most people, I try to avoid – I hope for a quick end, with a heart attack or stroke, preferably while asleep. But I realize that I may not be so fortunate. I may very well have to go through a time when I am still alive but have no future to hope for and only a past to look back on. My mother was lucky to believe in some kind of life beyond death but I do not have this faith. The only consolation I will have, if I do not achieve instant extinction, will be my own last judgement on my life as I
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