The Tell (Oprah's Book Club)

by Amy Griffin

I ran because I was afraid of what I would feel if I sat still.

Denial is not a switch that can be turned off and on. Denial is a glass case that must be shattered before you realize you were trapped inside it in the first place.

The image of my parents’ pride, their joy in me, stayed so vivid in my mind because it was the moment I knew that I was the living fulfillment of their dreams.

Memory is a sieve that catches only the most important moments. The insignificant details of daily life don’t stick; instead, they flow through the sieve. Then there are experiences that are unusual, set apart from the everyday, that carry an emotional charge. These we often hold on to, turning them over and over.

With each new accomplishment came more praise; that praise, I thought, was love. Yet I burned through the praise so quickly: There was never enough to sustain me. I was constantly looking for my next hit of validation. I needed people to affirm that what I was working so hard for was worth it, that I was separate from the crowd.

Everything has a cost.