Captured (Highgate Preparatory Academy #1)

by Rosa Lee

My wide eyes snap to Jax, who has an awful smile on his face as he gazes at Robert strapped to the table. It’s the smile of vengeance, of violence and bloodshed, and I briefly wonder why it doesn't terrify me. I look to Loki, who has a similar sinister smile stretching his beautiful lips, which sits at odds with his angelic features. My eyes find Kai next, whose face is set in grim determination. However, there is a fire in his eyes, something that tells me he is enjoying this. Finally, my head turns to look to my left and tilts up to meet Ash’s gaze. His is the most frightening, as there’s nothing there. It’s like his humanity has fled, and all that’s left is an empty shell. His eyes meet mine, and a flicker of something enters them, before disappearing again.

May God have mercy upon your fucking soul, because we sure as hell won’t.”

“Ash…” I whisper, not knowing what to say, just knowing that my heart hurts, my soul lamenting. Not for Robert, he deserves to face the consequences of his abhorrent behaviour. My heart hurts for these men, these boys who have had to do this, and probably a thousand other horrible and depraved things in their lives so far.

These guys, my guys, might be monsters, Black Knights with the souls of demons. But they’re mine, and I belong to them completely.

Even with everything that has happened tonight, and despite all that has happened between us, my breath hitches as his touch burns my skin. My nipples harden to points, and desire for this beautiful, broken man floods through me with the force of a meteor.

Leaning forward, he rests his forehead against mine. “I should walk away and leave you right now,” he growls out, his grip tightening painfully. “But I can’t, Lilly, I can’t leave the only light to have ever come into my life. I’m not strong enough, and I’m too selfish to deny myself.” His words set a fire inside me, my heart racing at what he’s saying. “So don’t leave, Ash,” I whisper back.

I’ve known that Ash wanted me, that he felt the overwhelming need for me the same way that I’ve felt it for him. But having him finally give in, finally close that distance that we’ve had between us this whole time...It’s like nothing on this earth. I feel complete, like all the parts of me are where they belong, and although I’m a little nervous about having a flashback of that awful night in the library, I couldn’t stop this even if I wanted to.

I can hear his satisfied groans, like I’m his favourite meal and he just can’t get enough.

He looks up into the mirror behind us, and his lips lift up in a smile that takes my breath away with its beauty. This is the smile he would give all the time if his life was different. If he didn’t have to do what he does.

Slowly and with a control that is maddening, yet endearing all at once, one of his hands leaves my waist to cup the side of my face, his thumb stroking my cheek tenderly.

“Jesus, Lilly,” he rasps out. “You're everything I never knew I fucking needed.” His words are a balm that soothes my soul.

His eyes meet mine again, and the look in them is so intense, so full of everything, that I can barely grasp what it all means. There's lust, and possession, fear, and even perhaps, dare I say, love.

My breath catches, and I have to take a minute to appreciate the sight before me, of Ash doing my bidding. Ash is giving me power over him to help me heal. And maybe, just maybe, to help himself heal a little, too.

I can't not touch her, it's like my hands have a mind of their own and just lose control. It's a control I've worked so hard for, shed blood, sweat, and tears for, and this girl tears it away as if it's a spiderweb in her way.

“Good,” I respond, nodding at Kai, taking up the mantle of leader again. Sometimes the load is so heavy, I don't know how I'll carry on. But I have to. For them, if nothing else. Maybe also for her now? A voice in the back of my mind whispers like an autumn breeze.

I look at Kai and see that he's staring at me, a soft look on his face. Bastard is too observant for his own good. “You need her, just as much as the rest of us, Ash,” he states gently. I say nothing, unable to deny the simple truth of his words.

But, I’m feeling selfish tonight, especially with her warmth seeping into my soul. Kai’s right, I need her light, and I’m not ready to give it up just yet.

I gaze down at Lilly and realise that the strength of feeling I have for those men, is not dimmed when I look at her. If anything, it’s almost stronger and mixed in with a fierce need to protect her and eradicate all and any danger.

Then I get into bed, pulling her so close that there’s not a single atom of space between our bodies. She lets out a contented sigh, her body relaxing in my arms.

I love him like this, debauched and rumpled.

“Such a good fucking girl,” he rasps and he grabs my jaw in one hand, slamming his lips onto mine in a messy kiss that drags my soul from the depths of my being.

It’s like he can’t help himself, he needs to be touching me everywhere, inside and out.

“Look at me, Lilly” he orders roughly, not breaking his rhythm. I open my eyes, gazing into his and gasping when I see the grey swirl and flicker with luminescent fire. “When I think about you, I burn inside, Princess. My entire being, everything I am and ever could be is yours.” I gasp, my eyes filling with moisture, but before I can say anything he continues. “I love you, Lilly Darling, and I will love you until I draw my last breath and my soul descends into the depths below. And when the stars fall from the sky, and the earth shatters into a million pieces my love for you will be in every fucking atom of the galaxy.”

“You’re the piece of me that was missing, Ash,” I whisper into his ear, and his body sags into mine, his hips moving again and making it difficult to focus on what I want to say. “Even if they were to cut me open, they would find you there. All of you are fused to my very cells, and nothing can ever truly separate us.”

We lie like that, putting our fucking souls back together, hearts pounding in perfect synchronicity, our breathing matched.

“Ash,” I mumble, and he turns his head to look at me. “I love you.” The smile he gives me is so beautiful, so rare, and precious to me, it’s like finding treasure at the end of the rainbow. “I love you too, Lilly,” he replies, leaning close and placing a trembling kiss on my lips.

There’s a change in the air, then a warmth at my back as huge, strong arms come around my waist. “Are you scared of me now, Baby Girl?” Jax's gruff voice sounds in my ear. There’s a note of worry in his tone. “After seeing what I’m capable of?” Leaning back into him, I can't help it, I seek comfort in his powerful embrace. It feels so good to be here in his arms. “No,” I whisper. “I'm not scared of you, Jax. I could never be scared of you,” His arms tighten around me, pulling me even closer. “You keep me safe,” I add on a breath.

“But, Jax, I'm...I'm in love with you, all of you, and my heart hurts so badly thinking about everything that you’ve had to do to survive.”

“Lilly, baby, I can't speak for Ash and Kai, but, well...ah, fuck!” He takes a deep breath, rubbing the back of his neck with a huge palm and glancing away. “I feel the same. That is…” He looks back to me, meeting my eyes with his beautiful, piercing blue ones. “I'm in love with you, too. And I don’t mind that you love them as well.”

He's so gorgeous, all the guys are in their own way. Jax takes my breath away every time I look at him with his stunning viking-like colouring and looks, which are heightened by his black tattoos. He exudes strength and violence in equal measure, but I've seen and known him to be so tender and caring. He’s the protector of us all.

“Jax, I love you,” I say, holding his gaze and willing him to believe me. “And I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here. Like I told Ash, since I met you, since I met all of you, I've never felt so alive. And life is always fucked up. Even without psycho families.” I smile gently, causing a rueful smile to tug at his plush lips. “I don't regret a single moment, and I'm not leaving.” I give him my best badass bitch look, which is rewarded with one of his rare, genuine smiles that melts my heart.

“I need you, all of you, to help take the feel of him away, Jax. Please,” I say, knowing that I need his help, all of their help to get through what happened and to fully heal.

“Do you want to stop?” he asks, opening his lids, his eyes full of understanding and worry. “No,” I say quickly. I can't explain it, but I know that if I don't do this, if I don’t take back control and baulk at having sex with my guys, Robert wins. “Please, don't stop, Jax.”

I hear a drawer open next to us, then the rustle of a foil packet. These guys have condoms every-fucking-where! Always be prepared, right?

“This pussy is ours,” he growls out possessively, and hearing Jax talk dirty is so fucking hot, my inner walls clench and flutter around him. “No one but us will ever touch you again, Baby Girl.” His eyes are fierce with the fire of his promise.

I love this fullness, of having them both inside me at once. I’ve missed it so much.

“We own you, Pretty Girl,” Loki tells me in a strained whisper, once he’s fully seated, his hips flush with my arse cheeks. “Ours,” Jax growls out, squeezing my arse hard enough that I know I'll have bruises come the morning. “Yours,” I gasp out in agreement as they both start to move in perfect unison.

We stay connected together, breathing each other in, and my heart mends a little bit more, my soul beginning to stitch back together.

He turns and smiles at me, and I can't help but smile back. He's not necessarily as devastatingly beautiful as the others, but he's got that Disney prince look down. You know, the geeky one with the boy next door charm who is an animal in bed.

“Thank you for not giving up on us,” he whispers whilst his thumb strokes my face. “Thank you for not giving up on me either,” I say softly back, and we both smile, sharing this sweet moment.

He ends up laughing too, and it's such a wonderfully free sound, I wish I could bottle it up and listen to it whenever I was feeling down.

“You have no idea how precious you are, Lilly,” he says, his voice melodic and soft. “You are full of a light that draws us in like moths to a flame, and we would willingly burn in the depths just for a single taste.”

His eyes are full of pain, and shadows of a past that have left scars on his soul. I know in another life, a kinder life, Kai would be the same gentle soul he is, just without the nightmares in his eyes.

“You are too good for us, Lilly,” he breathes. “No, I think we're just right for each other,” I say with a gentle expression, and the smile that lights up his face causes fireworks to explode in my heart.

“One of the ways we were conditioned was to be put in isolation. A white, padded, soundproof room with no windows. We'd be kept in there for hours, sometimes days. Poor Loki was once in there for over a week when his parents went abroad and forgot about him.” Kai's eyes are full of anger as he recalls the memory. “The guys were left in utter silence the whole time, so now they can't bear it.” My soul aches at hearing this. How can their parents be so cruel? “And you?” I ask softly as we make our way along the path, still side by side. “You don't listen to music as much as they do.” “My uncle went the opposite way with me and played only very loud thrash metal,” he says with a shiver. “I still can't listen to it after all of this time.”

“You don't need to worry about that, Lilly,” Kai says. “We won't be under their rule forever. Trust me.” And I look up into his eyes, realising that I do trust him. I trust them all unequivocally.

I nod, too full of sadness for the boys that lost their early teens to monsters, to be able to speak.

“I want to mark every inch of this perfect skin, Lilly,” Kai says, voice raspy, as if it’s taking a great effort to hold back.

“I’m no fucking monk, Lilly,” he groans, and hearing him curse winds me even tighter, it’s so unusual for him. I love the effect I have on him, on all of the guys.

There's a faint red mark where the silk was tied, and I find that I like it. A lot. I like being marked by them.