Big Fan: A Modern Romance
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Read between September 10 - September 15, 2025
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which is supposed to be populated by bleeding-heart liberals . . . who somehow don’t mind that everyone attending the party is white, while everyone working it isn’t.
Princesleah
This is actually how I feel Austin politics are.
Tristin liked this
7%
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Because I think it’s a good reminder that the passions of young girls are worth nurturing no matter how frivolous they may seem
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The acid burn of shame rises in my throat. My job is to control the story, and usually, I’m so good at it. I still don’t understand how I ended up . . . here.
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But rage won’t help me get a job. So I swallow it as best I can and smile until my cheeks ache.
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I used to think my life would really start the day Charlie Blake knew my name. And now he does, which is funny, because up until fairly recently, I was pretty sure my life was over.
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but stop being so scared of something you used to love.’”
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But I want to experience these songs while being out in the world.
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had forgotten what it was like to feel this way—just totally undone by someone’s art, swept up in their emotions. Experiencing my own feelings as too big for my skin.
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“As it happens,” he says. “I’m in LA right now. So if you can find an hour for me in person, we can have a second drink.”
Princesleah
Bad things happen in LA...
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we’re sitting on the patio of a restaurant nestled downtown, right next to the central library. Skyscrapers soar overhead, but we’re lit by the glow of paper lanterns. A fountain in the middle of the space burbles happily.
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These aren’t talking points to him. They’re his life.
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“If there’s one thing I’ve learned, in my many, many long years,” Charlie says. “It’s that the world rarely ends when you think it will.”
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This is a bad idea. I know it’s a bad idea. But I want to give myself something I want, just because I want it.
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“And then you said you wanted to love me for the rest of your life. And you said it enough times that I realized that it didn’t matter if I understood why. You knew exactly who you were getting, and you always wanted more. You had chosen me. And I had to start choosing me too. So, Kate, I promise that I will try to love myself the way you love me. And I will try to be worthy of the gift of your love, and your confidence, and your light, and your warmth, every day of our lives.”
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But then Charlie turns around and sees me, and smiles. And I know it was never really a choice.
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“You can have as much of me as you want, Maya,” he promises. It’s hard to imagine a better sentence.
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I’m thirty-five, not twenty-two, I want to tell her. I am too old to be patronized like this and too young to have bought into Lean In. I don’t just have potential; I have success.
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The intimacy of touching his dog-eared pages—I
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He’s not that exciting to me politically: another man with a Rhodes scholarship, a JD from Yale, and milquetoast liberal politics.
85%
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A necklace with a charm at its center: a snake, winding into an infinity sign, with a stone set on its head. Something twisted but not tangled. Sinuous and strong; whole and complete.
Princesleah
Feels kind of childish or like teenager ish for a necklace for an adult woman
87%
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Teresa won her campaign, just like Knight won his. The argument that I’m a liability is losing ground.
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I remember exactly what it was like to be that young, and to need someone to tell me who and what I was.
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“When I saw your picture in Vogue, I thought you were beautiful,” he murmurs. “But when I met you that night at Denizen and you opened your mouth, I thought—Oh, I’m in so much fucking trouble.”