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I miss you. Every day I wake up here, I look at her, and I miss you. Blue eyes shouldn’t look so dark. Blue skies are my favorite, and they reflect in your eyes like a crisp spring morning. Blue is my favorite color.
So toxic. So us.
Chris, my ex, was the closest who ever came to this. He was insanely obsessed with me, borderline controlling. I never had to wonder if he truly wanted me. I know he did. But someone else was more important to him than me. Luke. My brother. His best friend.
We had been neighbors our entire lives already; he should have said something before I fell for her. And I fell hard way before high school.
If you spare a smile today. If you send it my way…I’ll drink it up and lock it in a box full of hope. Maybe you shouldn’t.
“Listen to me,” he rasps in my ear. “I’m not exactly enjoying seeing you let some frat boy hit on you. I’m going to kindly ask you to be a good girl and stay away from other guys. But I’m asking kindly only once. If I have to say it again, I won’t be so nice.”
“You’re wrong. You are mine, no matter what. The status of ex or girlfriend doesn’t change anything about that.”
God, I would die, go to hell, make a deal with the devil, and come back to have a man look at me that way.
He has no special talent and yet owns the gaze of an artist. Through his eyes, everyone can feel beautiful.
“Then let the record show Ella Baker will be mine again by the end of the year. Because when you meet a woman like her, believe me, you don’t let her go twice.”
“And you should see what I do to people who threaten Ella.”
He drags his red pen along my inner thigh, from my knee until it’s against my underwear.
Your whiskey eyes get me drunk on you.
“My obsession with you might be pathetic, but it’s deadly serious. So watch what you do, or who knows how I’ll react?”
“Yesterday. Tonight. Tomorrow. In ten years. She’s mine.” My heart liquifies, melted by the dangerous heat in his voice. “Don’t test that. You don’t want to play with a man who would blow the world to pieces for her.” His voice lowers to a grave baritone. “Because, tell me, if I’m willing to destroy myself for her, what makes you think I won’t destroy someone as insignificant as you?”
When I think of the men you let touch you, I can’t calm my heartbeat. I can barely control the fury burning in my veins. No one will get near you again. ‘I wouldn’t go back to you if you were my last option on earth.’ You’re lying. You’ll come back to me because that’s what I want. I always get what I want.
Should I cut off his hand for the simple fact that he just wrapped his fingers around her biceps to squeeze twice?
“There’s nothing better than putting you back together after I break you.”
“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are when you struggle to take me?”
“We’re everything,” he finally says. “We’re all that matters. And when things get out of control, I want you to remember that.”
“Act like a lady, get treated like one. Act like a brat, get fucked like one.”
“It’s us. Period. I tell you what to do, and you listen like a good girl because you love the way I praise you when you do.”
“I want every guy at my birthday to wish they could fuck you. And then I’ll take pleasure knowing I’m the only one who gets to sink his cock in that beautiful pussy of yours.”
“Watch your mouth or I’ll wash it with my cum before I leave.”
Why should I feel anything but pride in knowing I’m utterly obsessed with one woman? Why should I feel regretful or ashamed that I want to destroy any other man who gets near you?
If there isn’t a smile on her face, I want to know why. If there’s a tear on her cheek, I want to know who. And if there’s a name tattooed on her heart, it has to be mine.
He always knows when I need something, and he makes sure to be the one to provide it. It’s so dangerous. So addictive.
A for effort. You didn’t make her come, but don’t worry, no one can. I ruined her for other men.”
“Did you hear that, Henry? That’s how she’s meant to sound when you spank her.”
He called him. He fucking called him. And he’s on speaker too.
“Tell Henry what you call me, Sweets.”
“I said let him hear.”
“I like you no matter what, but I enjoy you so much better when you behave like a good girl.”
“You will go to bed one night, and it will be me you sleep next to. You will wake up, and it’ll be my cock deep inside you. You will live, because I’m the one who allows oxygen into your lungs.”
“And my hand will be so far inside your chest, your heart won’t beat without feeling my grip around it.”
You built a world without me and left me with no choice but to destroy it. We’ll build another one.
“I would never hurt you. You’re my everything. You’re my heaven in this goddamned broken world. But I will hurt anyone you let near you, do you understand? I won’t kill them. I’d much rather they suffer for a long, torturous time.”
“Look at what I do to the men who touch you. Forget the fucking act I put on for everyone. That’s the man I become for you,”
“Your passion was dancing. My passion was you.”
“I knew you would be a mistake because you would never give me my heart back if I offered it to you. And look at what you did. You stole it, you kept it to yourself. You became the only person it could beat for.”
“Ella,” he rasps. “You know I’ve always had two sides of me. I’m sorry about the person that comes out when I can’t have you. It’s dangerous. But it doesn’t mean I don’t care. It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do absolutely anything for you.”
In a perfect world, my love for you would be easy. At least in this world, it’s worth it.
