“I was just thinking about the Erykah Badu song,” I said. “It could be about being a solo artist, in a way. Shedding that baggage of needing other people.” “I love that idea. But doesn’t she make it all about finding a guy, in the end?” I had to confirm this later, finding the song online that night in my sparsely furnished room. Nomi was right. The problem with your baggage, the song seemed to say, is that no man will want you. It wasn’t Erykah’s fault—this was normal for the time, the clear undercurrent of every empowerment message in the mainstream. I found it deeply disappointing even as I
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