I Leave It Up to You

by Jinwoo Chong

I had already lost so much time. It was the saddest part of all of it, really, that something true and real had been made and broken all while I slept and I would never really understand how it had happened. I’d only hear the story told.

“You never know what white people might do with a little bit of guilt. Big tip, maybe.” “I’d really love for you not to weaponize my medical history against our customers.”

Cuddy patted Appa’s back softly, asking politely to be let go, but Appa hadn’t noticed. I asked for death, at this point more favorable than watching either of my parents interact with my former nurse for even one more moment of this lifetime.

“Oh, no.” She looked out over the bright day in front of us. “I am still afraid. It’s a different kind of fear. I think: Have I done all I can? Is there more I could have given? Family is give and take: When you’re born, you take, and when you get older, you give, more and more, to everybody that gave to you. To them.”