For Better or Hearse

by Ava Hunter

“All your offspring want is a speck of your attention. That’s like a pebble in the sea. And you’re so focused on tits and asses and your own Machiavellian dreams and schemes that you don’t see it. This isn’t the Thunderdome, Don. It doesn’t matter who fucking wins. It’s a family. Your family.”

They shouldn’t live to please you. If you don’t get that, that’s your loss. But you’re missing out. Because Tate has an amazing podcast about potatoes. Delaney is killing it—well, getting killed. And Nathaniel…well…Nathaniel is someone to be proud of.” Her voice cracks. “So, so proud of. Do you know he put his own life at risk to save his entire crew? He could have died, but he did that. And then he stayed, knowing it could happen again.”

“And you don’t know that because you’re too pissed off about them not living up to your hustle-culture standards. Which is just so weird. You can be proud of your children for living their lives and being successful without all the weird judgmental bullshit.”

“Claire, you are too sweet for this insufferable man. Tater, always stay stupid. You are the himbo of my platonic dreams. And Delaney, you get murdered all you want. I heartily support the bloodlust.”

“Did you see Don’s face? He was fighting for his life at that table.” Ash’s mouth pulls up into a smirk. “Humbling a stranger in public has been on my bucket list for years.” “You didn’t even take a slow spiral down. You took a leap off a cliff. I love it!”

“What you escaped in the past is not what you will find in the future. What held you back will release you.”

Please tell me you’re okay. You’re okay.

Eleven days together, and already, she feels like the home he’s never had.

“Oh god, let the sea take me at this point.” “I can’t lose you to the sea.” “And why’s that?” He gives her an affectionate grin. “You do better terrifying the people on land.”

I’m not that person for you. I’m too different. I wear boots. I’m a stomping, chaotic mess. I can’t hold a job. I can’t do anything right.”

“You are that person for me,” he says softly. “And you don’t have to wear pearl earrings.”

“I hate my liver, the sun and myself.”

“You can do that?” “For you, I did,” he says seriously. He watches her face closely. “Do you like it?” Her heart thumps so hard it hurts. Nathaniel did this. For her. Whisked her away on an impromptu trip. A sweet excursion that’s tailored to what she wants to do. It’s such a kind, thoughtful gift that she wants to cry. To scream.

“Your weirdo dreams are my absolute favorite. And you are my absolute favorite weirdo.”

“What if I told you…I want to live in a lighthouse with you?” “I’d say…” Emotions swell and bubble in her throat. “Maybe I’ll let you.”

“Tell me a lie.” Right now, the truth terrifies her the most. “I don’t like you,” he says hoarsely, and her chest wrenches. “I don’t think I ever will.”

She makes him want to stop running. To make a home. But unless it’s with her, it’s not worth it.

How has he lived without her his entire fucking life? Different. She is different. Unlike anyone he’s ever known. She offends his family. Makes little kids cry. Once upon a time, he’d say they’d never work. They’re different in so many ways, yet they get each other. Belong together. A car can’t be wired without two opposing wires. And that’s what she is to him. Feral, mean, his.

“Please, go see your family. Let me ugly cry in peace.” “Right now, I don’t give a fuck about a single human in existence but you.” He won’t let her do this. Push him away. Her smile’s wobbly. “Then can you bring your shoulder closer so I can cry on it?”

“Sometimes I think death is easier than love. With death, all you have to do is survive it. And in the end, it doesn’t hurt. Love…you have to chase it. Tend to it. Work for it. Give it back. And sometimes it’s so, so hard. To love someone.”

“It is always the truth when I’m with you. I hope you believe that.” Ash considers him. She wipes a hand over her swollen face and nods. “I do.”

“One thing about me? I’m gonna make everything about my trauma.”

“Nothing about you is messy,” he says. “I love your wild hair and your mean mouth. They are impossibly perfect. You are perfect.”

already taste it.” They wander down a path, this one bordering

“I am,” she whispers. “I am yours.” Cups his cheek. “And you’re mine too.” The thorns around her heart release. It blooms.

“Ashabelle,” Nathaniel says again. In the darkness, a glimmer of a smile. “It’s so Disney princess.

“Tough. Mean. Beautiful. I love it.” He kisses her brow. “Every single part of you is perfect.”

She closes her eyes. The stars wink out. It’s not a heart attack. Fuck. It’s love. It’s Nathaniel.

Shit. Just when she was getting the hang of this love thing. If it is the end, if it is her time, she has to tell him. That he’s the tall, serious asshole she loves.

He wants more than the memory of this vacation with Ash. He wants a life with her.

Ash squints at him. “You are the tallest tree trunk I’ve ever seen. Did anyone ever tell you that?

“I found this. I want you to drink it.” Her eyes narrow in suspicion. “Where’d you get that?” “From the 7-Eleven on the hill,” he says.

“Tell me, even dying, am I still an absolute fox?” He laughs, low and rough. “You’re not dying. I refuse to let you.”

“Ashabelle Keller, you are without a doubt the most stubborn, morbid, mean woman I’ve ever met.”

“But you’re also a beautiful, brilliant pain in the ass. My pain in the ass. You make this bullshit world better.”

“Because with you, it’s not bullshit. Because you are all I have ever wanted. You make six hours feel like ten minutes. And when you’re gone, I miss you. It’s absolutely ridiculous.” He smooths a lock of sweaty hair from her brow. “I think you’re the greatest thing to ever exist.”

“Concussed by a coconut,” she rasps. “I’ll never live it down. It’ll forever be on my medical record.”

“If you’ve been waiting for me to be weak and defenseless, now’s your time for murder.” “And not have it be a fair fight? I wouldn’t dream of it.”

He doesn’t know how to tell her. That he’s not okay if she’s not okay. That he’d give his own life to keep her safe. That she’s endgame. In his head, heart, blood, soul. She owns him.

“Lost at sea. That’s our story now. We can take it to our grave or tell the National Enquirer.”

“Gotta get you on the podcast,” Tater says. “I’m thinking next season…coconuts.”

“Heavy on the there are people around,” she warns. “I don’t care.” He runs a finger across her cheekbone. “Not anymore. Not when it comes to you.”

A hand on her shoulder. Warmth and comfort. Ash turns to Nathaniel. “You two made her world tonight,” he says, his voice breaking. “I’m glad,” she agrees, nodding.

Words like I fucked up, but I’m sorry; I’m fixing it go a long way.

He’s seen her. She’s seen him. And he’s everything. He saved her life out on that island. She trusted him to get her out of there safely. And that trust came easy. It’s a triumph, knowing she can trust someone again.

Two weeks with Nathaniel has mattered more than two years with Jakob. With him, she doesn’t have to be invincible. Even if he makes her feel like she is. He makes her feel safe. Secure. Happy. So damn happy. She hasn’t had that in a long time.

Just tell him. Tell him you…like him. Care for him. Are falling faster than the Hindenburg.

Because the end result in life is that time runs out. She has to live while she can. Love while she can. Love. Nathaniel. She does. She loves him with all 206 bones in her body.

“The thought of not being with you makes me want to die.” “So morbid,” she teases.

“Monosyllabic sentences are very off brand for you, Bigfoot.” She laughs. “Shut up.”