What Does It Feel Like?

by Sophie Kinsella

“Are you getting enough sleep?” asks the doctor, and Eve draws breath to answer. I crawl into bed at eight o’clock, tired out and nauseous and longing for oblivion. I wake up twelve hours later, or thirteen or fourteen. I am greedy for sleep, I want only sleep. I seek unconsciousness like a crack addict seeking a hit. “Oh yes, I think so,” she says. “Plenty, thanks.”

The way to get through scanxiety: Is there a way? Please let me know what it is.

“You hate spoilers in books and films. We both do. But when it comes to this, all we want, above anything else, is a spoiler. We desperately want the doctors to give us the spoiler, but they can’t, because they don’t know either.” “Yes!” exclaims Eve. “Exactly. I want to know. I’m a novelist. I’m used to being God. I decide on the ending before I begin.” “Sometimes you change your mind,” points out Nick. “Yes, but the point is, I’m the boss. I’m in charge of my whole universe. Whereas in real life…” “You’re not the boss anymore.” “Apparently not. Fate’s the boss. And there are no teasers. All we can do is wait and see what happens.”