Losin' Control

by Ladii Nesha

Smile. A five-letter word, a simple gesture of kindness that could turn a person’s day around, yet Marley rarely did it.

“If I was going to call you anything, I’d call you a ticking time bomb. Your stomach is hanging over your belt, which I’m pretty sure is causing back problems. You’re leaning to the side, and the yellow in your eyes indicates that you are either suffering from liver failure or you drink too much. Either way, your days are numbered, and peppermint tea won’t help you with anything but your breath. What you need is a doctor and life coach. I think they have that over in tent three, and guess what?” Marley plastered a fake smile on her face. “It’s free.”

“Nope, attachments scare me.” “Why?” “Because nothing is really yours. Everything has an expiration date.”

“Real niggas don’t use clips, but then again, real niggas don’t have they feet kicked up in the back of Barbie’s camper, so I'm going to try it.”

“Shut up and catch this smoke.” Czar bowed his head and slowly blew a stream of smoke into her mouth. “Soft ass lips,” he mumbled, stealing a kiss, and to his surprise, she didn’t fight it, so he did it again and again until their tongues started to wrestle.

“Nah, wishes are for people who don’t have faith. I wholeheartedly believe that God is going to bless me with you.”

“I don’t know what it is about you, but I’m feeling the fuck outta you.” Czar kissed her neck. “At first, I wanted to fuck you because you got a smart-ass mouth and I like that shit.” He kissed her again. “Now I want to save you.” Czar lightly sucked her ripped ear lobe. “I want to keep a smile on your pretty face.”

Czar sized her up. He took in her pouty lips, her low eyes, and her labored breathing. Licking his lips, he advanced toward her, never breaking eye contact. “I’m hooked like a muthafucka and I’m not coming up off that shit.”

“Julius, you sucked my toes while fucking me from the back, and I ain’t ever experienced no shit like that. Jealous ain’t the word, my boy. I'm unhinged.”

I’ll push you away even when I want to crawl inside your skin, and some days I'll disappear.”

“As long as you fight for me, I’ll fight for you.”

“Waittttt,” she laughed as he carried her away. “I wasn’t finished.” “Nigga, put her back. You see we out here doing some limber shit,” Biggie called after them. “Yo fat ass ain’t been limber since you were a sperm cell floating down the stream with your siblings,” Romeo jested.

Czar was the type of man you didn’t let go of because as hard as he loved, he needed it in return.