Losin' Control

by Ladii Nesha

“I almost punched her in the back of the head, but that shit started feeling good. Had a nigga feeling feminine as fuck.”

“If I was going to call you anything, I’d call you a ticking time bomb. Your stomach is hanging over your belt, which I’m pretty sure is causing back problems. You’re leaning to the side, and the yellow in your eyes indicates that you are either suffering from liver failure or you drink too much. Either way, your days are numbered, and peppermint tea won’t help you with anything but your breath. What you need is a doctor and life coach. I think they have that over in tent three, and guess what?” Marley plastered a fake smile on her face. “It’s free.”

“Nope, attachments scare me.” “Why?” “Because nothing is really yours. Everything has an expiration date.”

“Real niggas don’t use clips, but then again, real niggas don’t have they feet kicked up in the back of Barbie’s camper, so I'm going to try it.”

“Shut up and catch this smoke.” Czar bowed his head and slowly blew a stream of smoke into her mouth. “Soft ass lips,” he mumbled, stealing a kiss, and to his surprise, she didn’t fight it, so he did it again and again until their tongues started to wrestle.

“Nah, wishes are for people who don’t have faith. I wholeheartedly believe that God is going to bless me with you.”

“I don’t know what it is about you, but I’m feeling the fuck outta you.” Czar kissed her neck. “At first, I wanted to fuck you because you got a smart-ass mouth and I like that shit.” He kissed her again. “Now I want to save you.” Czar lightly sucked her ripped ear lobe. “I want to keep a smile on your pretty face.”

“I sucked the electrolytes out of your pussy, we go together.” “Real bad,” Nova cosigned.

Czar sized her up. He took in her pouty lips, her low eyes, and her labored breathing. Licking his lips, he advanced toward her, never breaking eye contact. “I’m hooked like a muthafucka and I’m not coming up off that shit.”

“Julius, you sucked my toes while fucking me from the back, and I ain’t ever experienced no shit like that. Jealous ain’t the word, my boy. I'm unhinged.”

“But you put us in a situation and it caused you to lose me, nigga!” Marley shouted, swinging at him.

It took him coming back for Marley to realize that God didn’t make mistakes.

“Fuck them, Benny! This is your fault. You did this because I keep trusting you to protect me.”

“You keep fucking up and I keep paying the price. I’ll never make the mistake of thinking you can protect me when you can’t even protect yourself.

“LB, let this bum know what it is so we can get the fuck from around here.”

“You’ve been a trigger since before I even knew what the word meant, but I’m learning that I can’t keep blaming you. I’m trying to live in my peaceful era, so I apologize.”

“I apologize for you not being loved correctly as a child and that you never learned how to reciprocate it,”

“I apologize that every man in your life left you, and it chipped away at your insecurities every time they walked out the door.

I apologize that you weren’t taught the necessities of life before you started a family of your own and passed down your toxic childhood traits to your children, causing you to see them as competitors versus a lineage to carry your name.

And lastly, I apologize that you won’t witness me in this season of winning. You sending Benny here almost broke me, but I forgot we serve a man ...