Losin' Control

by Ladii Nesha

We about to get wasted and go sell these hoes some detox tea."

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This is a free health fair, you think people about to pay $30 for some whack ass tea? Yall black business owners be killing me. Wanna charge your own people an arm and a leg for simple shit.”

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“If I was going to call you anything, I’d call you a ticking time bomb. Your stomach is hanging over your belt, which I’m pretty sure is causing back problems. You’re leaning to the side, and the yellow in your eyes indicates that you are either suffering from liver failure or you drink too much. Either way, your days are numbered, and peppermint tea won’t help you with anything but your breath. What you need is a doctor and life coach. I think they have that over in tent three, and guess what?” Marley plastered a fake smile on her face. “It’s free.”

“Yet you have grease stains on your shirt and your fingertips are stained with red dye. I’m guessing you just left the snack table and those hot Cheetos got the best of you. Pick a side, sis, you sick or hungry?”

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“So you still don’t want an autograph?” Czar questioned, licking his lips. “Just on your credit card receipt and make sure you leave a tip.”

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“So you not star-struck or nothing?” “Sir, please, climb off of the high horse and join us in the real world. What does your being famous do for me?”

Maybe you can flirt with him and get us some tickets to a show.” “Maybe you can rub your coochie on a porcupine,” Marley shot back.

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“You got something against big girls?” “Nah,” Czar denied. “I have something against hoes who wear they kid’s clothes. Go take that shit off before you get a yeast infection.”

“Let me find out yall favorite rapper is an Indian Giver.” “Get yo high cholesterol ass outta my line and go get your blood pressure took.” Czar waved her off. “Matter of fact, yall can thank Ms. Cankles for me taking a break.”

“Death don’t scare you?” “Nope, attachments scare me.” “Why?” “Because nothing is really yours. Everything has an expiration date.”

“Please don’t touch.” Marley snatched it from her. “It’s not sanitary.” “Hm. You got your nerve talking about sanitary when you sleep, cook and shit in a van like a freaking hobo.”

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“You pissing off everybody today,” Nova stated, dropping in the chair next to Czar. “Black Twitter not about to drag me because she’s in the background looking like she having a stroke.”

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“So, what the last nigga had a lil dick or something? If that’s the case, you ain’t got nothing to worry about, my shit b- “He died,” Marley blurted. “In the pussy?” He coughed. “On some Color Purple shit?” “Oh my god, I don’t know why I’m entertaining you right now.”

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Does your wife know you are anointing members with more than prayers and holy oil?”

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The Bible says a child that doesn’t respect their parents lives a short life.” “Please don’t quote that bullshit to me while the scent of your Pastor's ball sack is on your top lip. But while you’re speaking the good word, it also says you shouldn’t covet your neighbor’s house and look at you over here sucking your neighbor’s dick. Seems like we’re both headed for an early grave.”

“Shut up and catch this smoke.” Czar bowed his head and slowly blew a stream of smoke into her mouth. “Soft ass lips,” he mumbled, stealing a kiss, and to his surprise, she didn’t fight it, so he did it again and again until their tongues started to wrestle.

“I don’t know what it is about you, but I’m feeling the fuck outta you.” Czar kissed her neck. “At first, I wanted to fuck you because you got a smart-ass mouth and I like that shit.” He kissed her again. “Now I want to save you.” Czar lightly sucked her ripped ear lobe. “I want to keep a smile on your pretty face.”

“Fuck outta here. You got me in these gay ass Lululemon pants and I still didn’t get no pussy. I’m not paying for shit and you better hope I drop you back off at your lil exterminator van.”

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If Jaxon is cheating it’ll come out and I'll be gone like a thief in the night.” “You’ll leave him?” “The fuck?” Harper snaked her neck. “Bitch, I'll be on the first bus to Dick Me Down Town. I’ll be the biggest hoe on the market. I need to make up for all the years I spent with his dog ass.”

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“All yall get the fuck out and tell Terri to take Atlanta off the list. I don’t trust these muthafuckas. I go to sleep with a bad bitch and wake up with her brother.”

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“Finish your hair. I’m about to go pour us a shot.” “Oh hell nah, I don’t want your Bill Cosby ass making me shit.” “The only thing I’ll give you is mushrooms. Have yo ass in the corner grinding on a plant.”

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“Hush and close one of your eyes. You’re supposed to be blind and you over here winking at people.” “You got me fucked up. I’m not about to sit here looking like Forest Whitaker’s lil sister,”

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“Ain’t shit ok and it never was. I say the shit to spare your feelings, to spare their feelings.” He pointed to Romeo and Nova. “I’m walking through life with a blindfold on because seeing the world through my own eyes ain’t worth living. I gotta take these dumb ass pills because I’m haunted by your decisions. Decisions I don’t talk about because talking about the first eight years of my life is forbidden!”

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Czar sized her up. He took in her pouty lips, her low eyes, and her labored breathing. Licking his lips, he advanced toward her, never breaking eye contact. “I’m hooked like a muthafucka and I’m not coming up off that shit.”

You might be pregnant, but I’ll pop you right in them big ass Tic-Tacs you call teeth. Second, this has everything to do with him. Time is money, hoe, and you fucking it up by bringing this bullshit to their video shoot. Move the fuck around before I drag your ass back to the cum bucket you popped out of.”

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“Nah, don’t listen to this lovesick nigga nephew.” Goose shook his head. “If I had your type of money, I wouldn’t settle down with one woman. If she mad, get two, and if they get mad, damnit get a few.” He clapped his hands together. “It would be like a pussy parade all the time.”

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“Let me tell you this one time.” He placed his hand under her chin. “The reasons I want you have nothing to do with the outside world. You bring me a sense of peace that I want to live in forever. These bitches don’t hold a candle to you. They never did. Tati, yo mama, and nobody else can dictate how I feel about you. I want you now.” Czar kissed her lips. “And I want you tomorrow.”

“Nigga you fell in love with a broken heart,” Biggie uttered. “That shit requires work. I know you didn’t think it was going to be easy.”

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” “God knew you needed a real nigga in your life, so he sent you a son,” he smirked. “I gotta go to my interview, but I’ll be by later so we can talk. This lil booty girl stressing me out,” Czar chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

“Yo mama not as slick as she thinks. I knew she was pregnant because pregnant pussy feels different. That shit sold for top dollar, and I allowed her to keep her lil secret because the money was top-notch. I’m talking back-to-back niggas,.” he reminisced. “Shit, so many niggas poked the top of your head, it’s no wonder you have mental problems.”

Oh hell no! You got my nigga Czar fucked up!!!😤

“And this time I'm never letting you go.” “Good, because I only wanna be with you.” “That’s what the fuck I know.”