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February 20 - February 23, 2025
My mind paints a very clear fantasy, unbidden, in which Vanessa and I live in domestic bliss. I’ve quit my job, just for a few years, just until the youngest is in pre-school, and Vanessa runs the world all day before she comes home to be with me and our two babies. After the children are asleep, after a delicious dinner I made, unless we ordered in, we make love and in fact make another baby, a third, a girl who we name Vanessa Jr. She has my nose. I think there is something wrong with me.
But no, she wants to punch people. One way to get her wiggles out, I guess.
“I don’t want you to marry that guy.”
“Don’t marry him,” I say. “You said he was perfect,” she says. “He is,” I agree.
“I can’t fucking lose you, I don’t want to,” I say. “I like you so bad. Too much.” “You do?”
“You know what I am,” Vanessa says. “I do. I think you’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“I am criminally, fatally in love with you, and you can try to marry someone else, but I’m not going to leave. I like your house too much and I like you too much to ever be away from you.” For once, I do not interrupt because I can tell he has more to say, and I want to hear every one of his reasons.
“I love you,” I whisper. “I love you so bad, Nate. You challenge me and push me to be better, you make me laugh, you’re the brightest man I’ve ever met.”