An Unexpected Hero

by Rhett C. Bruno

I thought of the only dance I could. In my head, I sang the Macarena and began the steps. Both hands out. Then flipped them. Crossed my arms. I felt like an idiot. Absolutely must’ve looked like one too. When I got to the part where I shook my hips, the baker had had enough. “Stop, stop, stop!” he said. “I’ll give ye something to eat just to get ye to stop.”

“Just a hand?” I scoffed. “And what value would a lute be to a one-handed man?” “If that man were you, I am not sure most would notice the difference.”

There is nothing that makes a man relish living like being near death.” We were quiet for a bit, listening to clay and pewter banging around the tavern, the few patrons talking and laughing. “And what if you happen to be terrified of dying?” “Then get good enough at fighting that you do not fear death,” Curr said. “It is a simple solution to a complex problem.”

I gave a glance toward the donkey. I imagined it shivering out in the cold. “I can’t believe you stole that poor thing.” “You will see me far more undignified than this, my newest friend,” Garvis proclaimed. “Just wait until you see me really drunk.”

You’re just playing a song you’ve never played to a crowd of people you’ve never met in a place you’ve never been on an instrument you’ve never held. What could go wrong?

“I say we just charge at them,” Curr said. “That’s the opposite of a plan,” I said. “That is untrue. I have done that on countless occasions, and I am still alive. My foes are not.”

Now you’re complaining after basically begging me to come?” I groused. “I did not beg. I simply requested with style,” Garvis said. “All I’m saying is it could be fraught with danger.”

Don’t think about The Lord of the Rings if you don’t even get the references, fool of a Took.

Now you’re thinking like a true bard. Music has meaning. In its meaning, there can be magic. The elves believe that, why shouldn’t you?

Best… friend?” Curr said meekly. “Yes, best friend.” I turned to Curr. “I know this all started out with me poorly singing, and you wanting to tear off my arm.” “Ulna,” Curr specified.

“Yes, but in the end, he stood alone.” She looked around at all my companions. “You, clearly, do not.” “You have my axe…” Curr said. “Well, I lost my axe. So, the next one I find!”

Curr laughed and clapped me once more on the back. “That is the spirit. I am ready. It has been too long since our last battle.” “We just fought dozens of orcs, literally, like twenty minutes ago,” Garvis said. “Exactly! Already, I am bored.”