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The best part of my job is being in charge of entitled men who think they’re better than me because they have a dick.
It happened so fast. Now and then, I think it’s all a dream. Some trick the universe is playing on me, because how do you go from finding your mom in the stands at every game to learning she has stage four breast cancer after a routine doctor’s visit to burying her five months later?
A week of job searching has left me empty-handed and on the brink of joining OnlyFans.
“For you, Mom,” I say to the empty room. “Always for you.” One of the overhead lights flickers, and I laugh. “Yeah. I know you’re here. You wouldn’t miss this. Sometimes I can still hear you yelling at me to get the rebound.” I pause, my shoulders heavy and my eyes wet with tears. “Fuck. I miss you, Mama.”
“What was with the penalty you got earlier? I saw you chirping that dude.” “He liked one of Emmy’s photos on Instagram last week, and it pissed me off. The hit was worth the two-minute timeout I got in the sin bin.” “You’re joking.” “Nope.” “You might be the most deranged man I’ve ever met.” “Nah. Just an idiot in love.”
Grief is a fucking menace.
“Of course. The stove might weep if you turn it on because it’s so excited to be used, so be careful. I don’t want the place to go up in flames.”
He gives me a wave and flips his hat backward before walking toward us. Jesus Christ. Shit like that should be illegal for men to do in public.
It’s a jealous ache of knowing they get to spend time with a person important to them, and I don’t.
I’m treated to a view of his back muscles as he walks away, and I push the heels of my palms into my eyes.
“We need to make him watch the ‘Juno’ positions clips and figure out which ones he likes.” Grant drops to the floor and thrusts into the rug. “Have you ever tried this one, Hud?”
I don’t say the things I’m thinking: how I’m always worried I’m too much. Too over the top, like women in the past have called me. That the therapy I’ve been doing since my mom’s death is working, but I still feel like I’m this ball of emotion who loves people too fiercely, who cares too deeply, who wonders if my brain might be hardwired wrong. Too soft for an athlete, an ex called me. You’re mature, but I want someone who’s a little wilder, another said. Maybe I am losing hope. Maybe every day I become less of a romantic. Maybe not everyone finds that great love, and I’m one of the unlucky
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“Good.” Liam smiles, and it freaks me out.
There are a lot of men in the world, but I’m learning there’s only one Hudson Hayes.
Piper pops a grape in her mouth and tugs on Liam’s arm. He’s been walking around the kitchen for the last hour, claiming he didn’t want to participate, but I caught him doing the signs out of the corner of my eye.
“I’m not kissing you unless you tell me to, Madeline. And if I do, it’s not going to be a one-time, casual thing. It’s not going to be a two-time thing. It’s going to mean something, just like it did on New Year’s, because I’m done pretending like I haven’t thought about that night every single day that’s passed. I have. Excessively. But I don’t act on it because I don’t want you to hide from me again. I don’t want to mess this up. You mean too much to me.”
I give in to my moment of weakness—hell, my months of weakness—and
“What would you say if you found out it’s one of my favorite things in the world?” I grip her thighs and push them open. “What if I told you I’d stay here all night if it meant getting three orgasms out of you? What if sometimes, I like this better than sex?” I lick her pussy, and she moans. “Tell me again how nice I am, Maddie. I can’t wait to fuck that word right out of your mouth.”
“Look how well you take my cock. Look at how well we fit together.”
“Because y’all are mine.” I tuck a loose piece of hair behind her ear. “And I protect what’s mine.”