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“My dad used to buy my mom flowers whenever she had a hard day. Even if there was already a bouquet in the kitchen, he’d show up with more.” He pauses, the silence thick, then continues. “In the end, her whole hospital room was covered in vases. I think he hoped the flowers would bring him some miracle.” The tattoo on his leg makes so much sense now. It’s not random artwork or a drunken mistake he’ll regret five years down the road. They’re parts of his mom he carries with him, and to know he’s treating me like his dad treated her makes me feel lucky. Like I’m one in seven billion.
Oh im going to Fucking Vomit
I blink. When Hudson hands the doll he’s holding over to Lucy and gives her a smile, the understanding hits me like a ton of bricks. How I missed it before, I don’t know, because it’s so stupidly obvious. I have a crush on Hudson Hayes.
Gods woman you really are dense
Madeline is beautiful when she smiles. She’s beautiful all the time, but seeing her and Lucy laugh through dinner makes my brain do this stupid thing where it pretends there’s a world out there where she likes me as much as I like her. And, fuck, do I like her.
Fukingbfinally jeez
“Friends.” Her laugh is a heavy exhale, a shake of her head. The sound makes me nervous, and she looks at the floor instead of at me. “I’m starting to hate that word.”
HOLY SHIT YOURE JUST LAYINGI OUT IN THE OPEN LIKE THAT
“Did I do something to make you think you’re not my friend?” “No.” Slowly, hesitantly, she looks back at me. Her eyes are wide with a scorch of heat behind the brown. “When you call us friends, it makes the things I’m thinking about you—the things I’m feeling for you—seem wrong.” I don’t know what’s going on. I might be dreaming. “What kind of things are you thinking about?” “Kissing you.” Madeline grabs my shirt like she did on New Year’s Eve. She wraps her fingers in the cotton, cementing herself to me. “Doing more than that.”
OH YEAH GIRLIE BE CONFIDENT TELL THAT MANN YIU WANT HIM
“You said that’s not something you want. You told me you wanted to be friends. Just friends.” “That’s what I wanted before, but it’s not what I want anymore.” “What do you want?” I ask, terrified to hear the answer. “You,” she says, and it’s my favorite word she’s ever spoken.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
“I’m not kissing you unless you tell me to, Madeline. And if I do, it’s not going to be a one-time, casual thing. It’s not going to be a two-time thing. It’s going to mean something, just like it did on New Year’s, because I’m done pretending like I haven’t thought about that night every single day that’s passed. I have. Excessively. But I don’t act on it because I don’t want you to hide from me again. I don’t want to mess this up. You mean too much to me.”
Ogh my fuking god thheyre jusst laying everything out immediately i have been WAITING FOR THIS DAY
Her lips pull up into a grin. She lifts her chin, a dare there, before she says, “Fuck it,” and crashes her mouth against mine.
THE CROWD FUCKING CHEERS
The planets realign. The earth stops rotating, and this is different from how we kissed on New Year’s.
Gud bevar youre so dramatic hudson
The other part of my brain is telling me to walk her backward until we reach the island. To lift her onto the countertop and touch her however I want. So I do just that.
Oh lord
“Hudson.” Her head tips to the side when I set her down. I kiss her neck and the spot below her ear. She smells like the roses she couldn’t stop admiring at dinner, and I think I’m already addicted to her. “Please.”
These highlights aare about to become really fuckingemmbarasssing fir me
“It’s been a while.” Her laugh is resigned. The hint of shyness, the cusp of embarrassed. “I don’t remember. I’m not sure.” “We’ll go slow. We’ll figure it out. It’s been a while for me, too.”
Theyre so soft im gonna vomit
Ruin me, I almost say, but I keep that to myself.
Oh hes so gone
“Can I look at you?” “I’d really like it if you did.”
Im gonna be sick
The word is barely a rasp, and she moves her hands to my hair. She grips the strands nice and rough and gives a tug.
Rawr
Madeline cries out. She holds my shoulder and claws at my neck again. Am I wrong for being excited to show off the scratches? Am I allowed to be smug at morning skate tomorrow and let my teammates see?
Oh hes such a little shit jesu cchrist i want him
I want her body and her soul, and I’d get on my knees and beg until I had them.
Hes so man im gonna die
I’m meeting a Tinder hookup tonight, but you all take priority over Beaumont.
FUCKING BEAUMONT
“I can’t believe you’re meeting a guy named Beaumont. What a stupid fucking name.” Emmy snorts.
Oh you get it ems
“I really need to get better about learning these hockey terms.” I look down at my glass and grin. “Especially if I keep kissing Hudson.” Piper screeches. Lexi pumps her fist in the air. Emmy grins, and Maven claps enthusiastically.
HELP SHE RALLY JUST THREW THAT BOMB AT THEM
You would think I just brought on world peace, not that I told them I had my first physical interaction with a man in goddamn years
Same thing honestly
“We’re going to need the whole story,” Lexi says. “So we can give you the best course of action,” Maven adds. “Bullshit,” Emmy interjects. “We just want to know how he is in bed.”
At least shes honest about it
“In the kitchen?” Emmy asks. “My god. I knew that boy had game. It’s always the quiet ones.”
THATS WHAT IVE BEEN FUCKING SAYING
“You know he’s not going to break your heart—Hudson is a one-woman man. No one else is going to have his attention.” I want to kiss you because I’ve been thinking about it for weeks
Hes the man of my dreams actually
My phone lights up on the arm of the couch. I bite my bottom lip to hold back a grin when I spy Hudson’s name. I tap the screen, and a selfie of him and Lucy pops up. They’re both smiling at the camera. There are clips in his hair and a smudge of lipstick on his cheek. He’s holding up bunny ears behind her head, and she’s poking his side. It looks like they’re mid-laugh, having the time of their lives, and then a message comes through.
I need him
“If you’re going to pick a guy to spend your time with, Hudson is one of the best ones. He’ll be gentle with you,” she says.
I knew he was going to be good I FUCKING KNEW IT
“I am. And you’re asleep.” “What? No.” I sit up and rub my eyes, flicking on the lamp. “I was reading my book.” “In the pitch black? You sure are talented.” “It’s too late for your sarcasm, Hayes.”
Stop bein funny hayes
He takes off his suit jacket, dropping it to the floor. His attention stays on me when he unfastens the top button of his shirt. “Anything in particular you want to do, Mads?”
Whore
Hudson keeps his eyes on mine when I’m naked from the waist up. He doesn’t blink. He doesn’t try to sneak a glance at my chest. I notice how red his cheeks are when I take a step back. How he’s standing perfectly still, afraid to move, and the way he swallows when I smile.
This man has a will of steel jesus
“You’re going to be the death of me, Madeline. Please be gentle when you kill me.”
:0
He brings his mouth to my ear, teeth nipping at my skin. “Are those good traits, Maddie?”
Biblically
“I want to be good for you, Maddie,” I practically beg.
Oh my god... Hes so pathetic.... Hes perfect
“Tell me again how nice I am, Maddie. I can’t wait to fuck that word right out of your mouth.”
Clutching my pearls
“Fuck. You are. Let me get one more taste, sweetheart.”
Biblically emotionally physically psychologically fully horribly all day all night on the coubterin the shower in bed against the wall
I fumble for the box of condoms and nearly knock it over. I’m too distracted, and grabbing a foil packet takes all of my mental capacities.
Loser
“Open your eyes, Maddie. I want you to watch when you take me for the first time.”
:O
“You’re going to give me a complex, sweetheart. I’m going to walk around like some egotistical bastard.”
HONESTLY MAN YOU DESERVE IT
“And I get to watch.” “Do you like to watch?” “I fucking love to watch.”
You guys are making it awfully hard (haha) to focus on the four nations face off thats happening
“I’ve been doing math in my head so I don’t finish too early.”
HES SUCH A FUCKING LOSEER
“So good, Hudson,” I whisper as he collapses forward. I keep a hand on the back of his thigh and stroke along the curve of his muscles when his legs lock up.
HELP WERE GETTING ALLBTHE LORE ACCURATE HOCKEY DETAILS
Emmy won’t stop asking me who on the team has a pierced dick. I told her I’d never share because bro code, obviously, but the truth is, I don’t fucking know who has a pierced dick.
LMAO HELP
You got me there, Huddy Boy. Fine. I was saying goodbye to tonight’s company, who would be more than happy to confirm I am the lucky bastard with a pierced dick. Want a photo?
I KNEW IT I FUCKING KNEW ITT
LOL. Imagine all of showing up to practice with our junk pierced and Coach asking us why we’re all hunched over. He’d make us skate laps for DAYSSSSS.
That wouod be one hell of a bonding experience
Here’s hoping I’m traded before March 8th so I don’t have to partake in this activity. Easy E HEY. You don’t mean that, do you, Goalie Daddy????!!!!???? Sully I’ve always loved Canada in the winter.
LIAM STFU
“Yeah. Took a hit from McKenzie that shouldn’t have been as hard as it was, and now I’m paying for it.” I grin and lean back in the chair. “Guess that’s what I get for calling his blocking atrocious. Chirping always gets me in trouble.”
Fucing fortjent
“What do you know?” “What do you think I know?” “I’m guessing Madeline told you—and probably the rest of the girls—she and I have been… spending time together.”
Thats...... One way to put it hudson....
“Does she? Need advice?” “Wouldn’t you like to know.” “You know what? Don’t tell me. That’s between y’all, and I’d never ask you to violate girl code.”
Jesus christ why is he every standard ever im gonnaa be fuckibg sick
Liam pops in halfway through and joins us, and I’m surprised when Riley and Maverick take the seats across from us and try to mimic our handshapes.
NURGH
Liam grunts. “This is hard stuff to learn. You know more than I do, and Piper’s been teaching me phrases longer than she’s been teaching you.” “It’s probably because you constantly have a stick up your ass,” Maverick mumbles,
LDS HAM VRE MAVERICK DIN SKID
“I saw some people online talking about how they teach their kids baby sign language even if they aren’t deaf, as a way to communicate. I think I’d like to do that with our kid if Em and I become parents.” He pauses, glancing at me. “This is a cool thing you’re doing, man. I’m proud of you.”
Bliver dårlug
