Promise Me Sunshine

by Cara Bastone

She understood what it means to be someone’s secret. It means that you’re not their pride and joy. And she wanted me to feel that I was hers.”

“I want something that feels…natural, even if it’s not always sexy. Because relationships change so much while you’re in them. And so do the people. Even if you start out wanting one thing, a few years down the road you might want something completely different.”

“Lenny, the stakes are low with you because you’re the most loyal person I’ve ever met. You’re fully on my team. Now that you’re here, I think there’s very little I could do to kick you out…I don’t have to worry about losing you. I can just…relax.”

“Lenny, when I look at your face, I feel like I’m finally home after a really long day at work.”

Miles might be my lifeboat, but he doesn’t have to be my lifelong Coast Guard. And I’m going to prove it to him.

“If you push him,” I explain patiently, holding my hands out as an example. “Then he pushes back. But if you take him by the hand, he follows you anywhere.” She’s still blinking at me. “He’d do anything for you and Ains.”

“Every time I fall in love with you there’s lightning.” He closes his eyes, opens them and there’s his brilliant love. “There’s only you, Lenny. Every time…it’s just you,” he says, muffled as he kisses me. “And you.” He kisses me again. “And you.” I cry, of course. I laugh, of course. I hold him desperately close, of course.

“I think that even in all your worst moments of grief, you’ve wished for companionship. I think you’re always, secretly, hoping for happy endings, even when they don’t seem possible. You say compulsive but I think they’re actually kind of just…tenacious. Like daisies popping up out of the snow. Grief has been sort of, I don’t know, it sounds sappy, but like winter for you. And I think that the part of you that can’t help but manufacture happiness, because that’s who you are, it’s been sending up these little flowers to pop up and keep you company.”