More on this book
Kindle Notes & Highlights
“Let’s make a pact,” I suggest, hoping it’ll pull his attention from the crackling flames. “A pact?” He finally looks at me, brows scrunching in the middle. “Yeah. A pact,” I say as if it’s obvious. “No girls this summer. Three whole months. Just bros.”
“To a summer filled with fun, friendship, and most importantly, no chicks.” Kyle pauses for a moment before his hesitant smile blooms, growing into something true and authentic. The skin around his eyes crinkles like it always does when he’s genuinely happy. “To best friends,” he says quietly, returning my sentiment with soft, fervent words. “To the one person who can always make me smile, and always has my back.”
That’s what we do in Haven Creek, Colorado. We mountain bike in the summer and snowboard in the winter. Warren and I have been doing both since our training wheels first came off.
Ames, Utah. The now-abandoned railway station was once thriving in the early nineteen hundreds. There was a popular saloon here, and trains would stop so that people could wet their whistles. But after the interstates came through, Ames became deserted.
We made eye contact, and I came. I fucking came. What is wrong with me? He’s my best fucking friend, and now that makes me a pervert.
Warren’s moments away from coming, and for some reason, I feel the need to be closer to him. To participate. I step out of the doorway, whispering in his ear. “Come for me.” Warren erupts, nutting all over his hand and making this sexy little whimper. Holy shit.
“I guess I didn’t freak out because it’s you, Kyle. The one person on this Earth who knows me best. The one person who always has my back.” He bumps his shoulder against mine. “What could be scary about that?”
“I wanna try something new,” Kyle whispers. “If you do—” “Yes!” I practically shout, feeling like a slut for him. “Anything, Kyle. You can try anything on me.”
Whatever his reason for having lube is, I’m just grateful he does, because it feels incredible. He applies a little more pressure, pushing into me. I will deny the noise I make as his finger sinks deep into my ass until my dying day.
I wrap a protective arm around Ren’s shoulder, not wanting Nani to touch him again. He’s mine to touch. And his tongue is mine to enjoy.
As soon as we make it back to the RV, Kyle shoves me against the dusty exterior, grabbing my throat and staring deep into my eyes. “Never flirt with another man in front of me again. I don’t like it.”
Kyle was just inside me. We had sex. Like actual anal intercourse. And fucking hell do I want to do it again.
I keep circling back to one significant fact; I’ve never felt this way for anyone. Ever. Just Ren. Only Ren.
You know that depressing feeling when vacation’s over, the perfect illusion is shattered, and you’re back to the everyday grind of life? Well, it completely sucks balls, and that’s where I’m at.
She wants to talk. Made a mistake. Wants me back. But all I can think about is Ren. Kissing him. Fucking him. Seeing more of the world with him.
It’s time to shoot my shot and ask Kyle to move in with me.
Marissa scoffs. “I’m sure it was all his idea, and you just went along for the ride like you always do. He continually gets you into trouble, Kyle. Can’t you see that? It’s absolutely ridiculous, and I think it’s time you cut ties with him and move on.” I burst out laughing because it’s just so absurd, even though I know she’s being dead-ass serious by the look in her dark eyes. “Why do you think you have a say in what I do, or who I’m friends with, Marissa? Now, that’s ridiculous.”
Everything in my soul is telling me the right choice is Ren, but everything I’ve been raised to believe, raised to want for myself, tells me to choose Marissa.
“I’m not gay, Ren. I’m sorry. I’m just not.” My words feel cold and partly untrue. “And I’m not either, Ky! But that doesn’t mean that I don’t fucking love you!” His voice cracks on the last words. “Or want you. Or think about you every waking moment of the day.” Warren stares at me with panic-stricken eyes, dragging his fingers through his hair like he might rip it all out.
“So what? Now that we’re back in the real world, you’re ashamed to be with me? To be with a guy? Is that it, Kyle? ’Cause you sure as hell didn’t care when you were announcing to everyone in California that I’m yours.”
“You’re trying too hard to be completely straight, and it’s painful to watch. The pact is fucking over.” Ren rips his friendship bracelet off and throws it to the ground at my feet, storming out of my house and leaving a Ren-shaped hole inside my heart.
“I’m so happy and proud you’ve figured out who you are, Renny. Even if the process left some scars behind. It’ll only make you stronger.”
It would be so fucking satisfying to start the blog Kyle encouraged me to from the very beginning of our trip. A slow grin stretches my lips because I can’t fucking wait to get started. Maybe I’ll dedicate the blog to my sister. Because Kyle Fitzpatrick can go fuck himself.
My brain stutters like a record scratch, and the room goes silent as Kyle waits for my response. “I’m sorry, did you just say that we’re dating?” I ask in disbelief, even though a slow smile starts to creep up. “Yeah, Ren. That is, if you’ll be my boyfriend?” “Yes. Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes,” I chant, kissing across his sweaty, naked chest.
“It would never matter to me or your father that you’re gay. Right, Randall?” Before my dad can even answer, I interrupt. “I’m not gay, though.” My parents glance at each other out of the corner of their eyes, and I know what they’re thinking. “I’ve questioned that statement many, many times recently. Trust me,” I admit honestly. “But the simple fact of it all is, I fell in love with my best friend, and it doesn’t matter that he’s a man because he’s mine.”
“Pops. Everyone. I’m bisexual, and I’m comfortable enough with labeling that,” Warren says nonchalantly. “So, yep. It’s out there now. Ya boy loves everyone!” he shouts in a laugh, giving the room a casual shrug and leaving everyone speechless.
Staring down at the K on his wrist, a surge of possessiveness rolls through me and I pick up speed, fucking him harder than I ever have before. I need to show him this hole is mine. Forever.
I have so many plans for the future, including flipping houses, all of which I can do from anywhere. So, the fact that Kyle got accepted to Berkeley Law School means we’re headed back to the Pacific. It feels perfect. Like fate sending us back to the place we’re happiest, allowing our bond to flourish.
