and it was all the other people, all the magazines, all the billboards, all the hairdressers and skin therapists and personal trainers standing there screaming be better be better, and I had never before been able to completely shut them out—no matter how amazing the sex was, they had always been there at the same time, a part of the event—it was as if the act actually consisted of thousands of people and all of capitalism. A small performance for an audience of one, where the result hadn’t been to build desire but doing it right, being enough.
