First I stayed late, then I went out. I went to football games, to plays, to parties, to the gym. I drank cocktails at bars, went running, joined book clubs. I dipped my toe in that sense of community, for a few hours I dipped. Then I went home, to my apartment that I had bought myself, the walls that I had painted the color eggshell. I had too many expenses, the mortgage was large, but I loved every square foot of that apartment, which declared to me that I was autonomous. I was prepared to work myself to death to keep it. I was my own ruler. I was so proud of my life. If someone had stood
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