Fearless (The Powerless Trilogy, #3)

by Lauren Roberts

Her smile grows uncharacteristically timid.

“I’ve got you,” he pants against my ear. “I’ve got you, Pae.”

“Are you all right?” As if unable to restrain himself, he cups my face in his hands before running swift fingers down my body to check for wounds. “I’m okay.” My whisper is nearly lost in the howling wind, but I know he hears it when his eyes snap to mine. “I’m okay. I’m alive.” Tears are pricking my eyes again. “Because of you.”

“I promised to save your life again and again. And I will, whether you allow me to stay in it or not.”

“You said ‘A’ earlier. Is that what you used to call Ava?” I nod slowly. “Yes. It was.” “That’s what I called Adena.” She blinks rapidly, as if to ward off tears before they form. “I guess I’m just not used to hearing the nickname for anyone else.”

“She was my A.” My throat tightens. “Ava was my Adena. But they don’t go far.” I gently lift her arm until she’s pressing a palm to her beating heart. “Your A lives here now.”

“Don’t leave me. Please. Especially not now, but please not ever.” “Never,” I whisper, tipping my forehead against hers. Her breath hitches. “You can’t leave me. I don’t have enough room in my heart for the both of you.”

I study her for a moment, taking in the near ethereal glow she exudes. It’s startling.

in my experience, there is love. And there is duty. But there is never both.”

“There is love within duty, and duty within love. You can’t have one without the other, and yet”—she

you can never truly have both. So choose, Kai Azer. The girl. Or power. And whether or not she is worth the destruction of everything you are.”

Her words are blunt in a way I admire.

“Don’t fear power. Wield it. Perhaps even let it control you.” The queen smiles sharply. “Being an Ordinary is not what makes you weak.

It’s your heart.”

“She asked if I was going to kill him.” There is a long pause wedged between us. “And are you?” “Again,” I say between clenched teeth, “you think so little of me?” “You know I do not.” My eyes flick up his rigid body. “Then you should know the answer to her question.” He looks away, crossing his arms over the broad chest beneath. “Good. Because if I have to choose between you or Kitt…” “I know,” I murmur. Tears threaten to wash away the anger I’m cowering behind. “Do you?” Those gray eyes glide over me in that way I’m certain I’ll never get used to. “Because I sure as hell don’t.”

The king has a knack for deceit.

Spinning such a lie about the death of Queen Iris is not the first Edric has spewed to his kingdom. More than a decade has passed since nearly every Healer in Ilya was generously compensated to spread the lie that Ordinaries bear a disease that dwindles Elite powers.

Power is a sickness that corrupts all those who get a taste.

Damion’s gaze lifts to his king, looking less solemn than usual and more impressed than ever. “The boy is extremely powerful. I’ve never felt anything like it.”

Marrying Myla Rowe will earn him power. Earn him a son he can mold into a weapon.

I’ve seen glimpses of her, shared looks she refuses to hold. I can sense her presence on the other side of my wall, feel the empty space in my bed that once occupied her warmth. It’s absurd, really. The fight. The truth.

I join in despite the futility, throwing fire or attempting to pull the massive creature away with my mind. But for the first time, I’m witnessing Elites rendered completely powerless. I am rendered completely powerless.

“We need to do something,” Paedyn murmurs. “Whatever you’re thinking, don’t,” I order. She looks over at me then, and I remember just how much I missed her doing something as simple as acknowledging my existence. A small smile pulls at her lips. She’s breathtaking in this light, as though her hair is a collection of the moon’s rays.

“There is no shame in that when justified,” Ellie states. “It’s not knowing an end to your brutality that’s the problem.”

It feels wrong to touch something so blindingly pure with such bloody hands.

My soul is stained with death and drenched in the regret of it. I never asked for this brutality, this...

What am I to do if not count your freckles?

Every fiber of my being

This is not an opponent. This is the boy who braids back my hair and dances for the both of us. The boy who would chase me to the ends of the earth if it meant he could hold me one more time. This is a man who would bury another for me—would bury himself, if only I asked. He is a fool for me. He is my fool. This can’t be happening. Why would Kitt allow this?

“No!”

when my gaze crashes into that cool green one, I suddenly cannot remember which king I am looking at. “No! I won’t do it!”

stumble in the sand, seemingly unable to suck air into my lungs. Tears burn my eyes; anger clogs my throat. This is a nightmare. This is pretend. We were never supposed to fight each other again.

This audience alone keeps me fighting the Enforcer when I wish for nothing more than to collapse against Kai.

My soul is hopelessly tethered to his.

He is devastation dressed with the shell of devotion.

My tears splatter into the pool of crimson, sobs tearing free from my raw throat.

I scream. It’s the sound of my heart shattering. I can feel the drifting shards in my chest, piercing lungs that can no longer draw breath. I’m choking on disbelief, clawing at the slipping strands of a life I wanted with him. The finality of this moment is chilling enough to quiet the voices of thousands around us.

I lean in, hanging on words I’ll never get to hear. Because the light leaves those gray eyes. “No.” The word is defiant. “No.” This one is pleading. “No!” Anguish. That is what courses through me before pouring from my mouth. I shake his unmoving chest. Again and again. “Kai. Kai, come back to me.”

My forehead meets his, and I murmur the words I thought would take him away from me. It’s a confession I was too cowardly to voice—and now it will become my biggest regret.

“I love you, Kai. I love you. I love you. I love you.” Agony. That is this feeling. The one wrenching me in half, tearing apart my soul. But I don’t bother smothering it any longer.

“Please,” I whisper into the wind. It smells of death. Of ruin. I could almost laugh. That is what I was in the end. His ruin.

“Paedyn, I love you. Like nothing else before, I love you. And I’ve been waiting to tell you since I realized your eyes are my favorite color and your freckles the only constellation worth looking at. I could lie—say that you’ve stolen my every thought and heartbeat like the thief you are, but all of me was already yours. Pae, you are my inevitable.”

I am forever her rival, and I revel in it.

“I am no Elite. And that is all you see when looking at me—everything I am not. So let me tell you what I am.” She takes a deep breath, the scar above her heart rising and falling. “I am power earned, not gifted. I became one of you. Observant enough to pose as a Psychic, strong enough to survive your Trials. Over and over, I have proved myself worthy of your loyalty. “But I have faced far worse things than my own powerlessness.” She lifts an arm, running fingers over the scar beneath her collarbone. “I once wore this carving with shame, but now it is proof of my survival. No ability could have withstood what I alone have.” A smile touches her lips. “A king left his mark upon my heart, and now, I will leave mine across his kingdom.”

I’ve never seen something so beautiful, so bold, so blatantly right for me, for this kingdom, this hope of a united Ilya. And I fear I may forever be in awe of her.

“The Plague runs through my blood, same as yours.”

“But it did not bless me with strength. I took it.”

“I am Ordinary. Elite. A power of my choosing. And I will be your queen—all that I am and fiercely what I am not.”

Pae’s eyes snap to mine, and for a moment, it’s as though we are the only two souls occupying this room. There is that electrifying tether between us, tugging at my heart with every second I’m beheld by her. But the sound of shifting feet has my gaze tearing away and—

“You are my forever.” Shadow and Flame. Formidably inevitable. “Forever my undoing.”