Fearless (The Powerless Trilogy, #3)

by Lauren Roberts

For those fearless enough to follow their heart

A soft string of words over a shoulder is all the man offers. “Every brutal act is born of love.”

Damn the pretending. Damn the hiding. Damn everything but him and us and this moment where I need him.

“And if we wish for our great kingdom to remain, we will welcome Ordinaries back into it.”

There he stands, swallowed within the crowd. It was his pale blond hair I found first, followed by those watchful blue eyes. Feeling my gaze, Calum offers me a slow nod. I press my lips together, fighting the radiant smile I ache to give him. Instead, I spell out the gratitude in my mind, knowing he’s likely reading the whirlwind of thoughts within.

“As for Paedyn Gray…” The sound of my name startles me back to an unsettling reality. “Her treason is not all that it seems. Our union will serve as a peace offering to the surrounding kingdoms. This show of faith will welcome Ordinaries back into Ilya, and therefore, entice our neighbors to reopen trade with welcoming Elites.” Kitt smiles tightly. “Our marriage will mark the beginning of my reign, and the strongest Ilya there has ever been.”

I am the sacrifice that Ordinaries have bled and died for. I am the power they lack. The ring trembles around my broken nail. His eyes flick to mine in quiet permission. Every moment of my life has built up to this one. This one fleeting second of bravery. I nod, and he pushes the ring down the length of my finger.

I thought I’d known torment until it wrapped around her finger. No, torment is tangible, and it gleams atop her tanned skin. I stare, unblinking, at the symbol my brother slid onto her finger. It is binding. It is infinite. It is my undoing. A laugh threatens to slip past my numb lips. It’s not as though she hadn’t promised to be my ruin, hadn’t already become my demise. She is the single most destructive thing I have ever desired, and yet, it is the diamond on her finger that will destroy me.

I’ll be forced to spend my days at her service but never at her side. In her shadow but never truly seen. In love with a girl I’d have bowed to long before she became my queen.

I’ve been nothing but willing when it comes to drowning in those ocean eyes. But now, I can’t fathom drowning if she is not the anchor I’m sinking with.

But I have no one to blame but myself. I did this to her, to us, to each moment I spent hoping she would be the center of every one to follow. I am the monster who hunted her down. I am the beast who delivered her to this doom. And I am afraid I’ll become so much worse when I’m no longer striving to deserve her.

I would spend the rest of my days making her flower crowns if she wanted to be a queen. My queen. Not Kitt’s. Not Ilya’s. Mine.

In that moment, that single movement, I see our father. It’s as though he is the one standing before this court, and Kitt is nothing more than his shadow. This king is not the same one I left a fortnight ago.

My future queen has just made her first decree.

There’s that anger again, washing over me in waves. Because she was meant to be the death of me, not the life of another. It was her I was meant to adore in this world and crawl to in the one after. But now she’s tethered to a king, and I am nothing more than her killer.

“I thought Kitt was spiraling. I thought he was grieving and angry.” A shaky breath. “I thought he’d order you to drive a sword through my chest the moment I set foot in that throne room.” “I thought he would too,” I murmur. “And I was prepared to severely disappoint him.”

I’m toying with her, trying to ignore the bitter taste each word leaves in my mouth. I refuse to let this be her fate, and yet, fear twines around me, tightening my chest even as I tease her. Because if she truly becomes Kitt’s, I will spend the rest of my life mourning her.

“You’re not supposed to touch me at all.” “But you could command me to,” I drawl. “Then I’d simply be following an order.”

Powerless. Fatherless. Adena-less. These were the things I was already struggling to survive. And yet, it’s the ring on my finger that may be the death of me.

Kitt. That was all he was to me during those Trials. A prince, yes, and a replica of his father in face alone. But also, my friend. A friend I betrayed. And one I thought would surely kill me for that, and so much more. But now he is so much more. First a friend, then a foe, and now my future.

“Ellie, if I’m truly made queen, I’ll ensure you don’t have to work another day.”

Ellie nods, though I’m sure she aches to ask my reasonings. And if she had, I would have told her. I would have admitted why I cling to the crooked ends of my hair. The bangs I continually cut for Adena looked the same.

Claimed me. Those are words I certainly never thought would be associated with Kitt. His brother, on the other hand… I know exactly what it feels like to be claimed by the Enforcer. And I’ve embraced it.

I’ve never been so completely shocked and unsurprised in the same moment. Such a contradiction is the only reasonable response to the past hour of my life. Because, despite my hope for him, I never truly believed Kitt would strive to make changes that contradicted everything his father told him to believe. And it seems I was right. This king does not care wholly for a united Ilya, only that this kingdom remains by whatever means necessary. I almost find the courage to smile, because this is a start. Kitt has every right to hate me after I killed his tyrant of a father, but he needs me. Together, we could save this kingdom from more than just ruin. We could liberate it from the segregation that has plagued this land for decades. Perhaps, without Edric here to feed his son lies and prey on that insatiable need for approval, Kitt will be able to think clearly for the first time. And with Calum offering him council, helping him see the truth of this kingdom, there might just be hope. His eloquence combined with that intent way in which he listens help make the Mind Reader so persuasive. Or maybe he simply uses that ability of his to comb through our thoughts, picking apart how we feel and think before saying exactly what needs to be heard.

“I thought I’d be dead long before this moment,” I cut in evenly. “Thought I’d be skewered with a sword in that throne room. But I’m not, and I intend to find out exactly why.” My voice lowers into something far more solemn. “I may not have much life left to live, so I won’t spend it resting.”

Of course Kitt knew I would come after Blair for what she did to Adena. What she did to me. It’s genius, really, stationing Lenny as her guard. He knows how much I care for him—and he’s used that against me.

He shrugs slightly. “You brought her to me, didn’t you?” “I did.” And I regret it more than anything.

“Because he opened my eyes to so many things,” Kitt fires back. “Suddenly, I was thrown into the role of king, ridden with grief and anger. And when Calum told me his story, what was really happening in the slums, I realized how little I knew of my own kingdom.” His chest heaves, though his voice is steady. “So I listened. I learned. And for the first time in my life, I came to my own conclusions.

“If I don’t marry her,” Kitt breathes, begging me to understand, “I have no choice but to kill her. She murdered our father, Kai. But as my bride, she can help restore Ilya.” He braces a hand on the desk, leaning in with each word. “This is a mutually beneficial agreement. I would protect her. Twist the truth about what happened between Father and her. And in return, she would be my symbol of peace to the other kingdoms.”

Paedyn is not a right or a wrong, not something as simple as a yes or a no. She is confusion itself, a feeling unplaced, a color between black and white. Hell, she is my Silver Savior. And hating her is not as simple as it may seem.

“I’m sorry that I killed your father. But I will never apologize for killing a tyrant.”

“Calum, Mind Reader that he is, knew I was beginning to see the truth. He counseled me, suggested I marry Paedyn in order to save Ilya. I wasn’t going to. Not at first.” The king looks up at me. “But I visited the queen—your mother—and she told me of the letter Father had left for me. It was a plan, she said, for the future Edric wished Ilya to have. Something each king passes down to the next.” He pauses to clear his throat. “It was only after reading it that I realized what needed to be done. Father didn’t care about Ilya—he hated Ordinaries. And the damning records of our dwindling food supply and overpopulation was proof of that. He failed to create an Elite society, and now we must face the consequences.”

My heart bangs against my chest, beating for her, beating for every moment we may never get to spend together. And when words finally spill from her lips, she might as well have plunged a dagger into my back like she promised so long ago. “Then I will marry you, Kitt. To save this kingdom from itself.”

I take a deep breath, already regretting my clipped command. But I won’t let her see my marred skin, the O branded above my heart. That piece of myself has only ever been shared with Kai. And I intend to keep it that way.

My gaze climbs from the expanse of dark wood until it lands on… Comfort. Relief. Him.

His fingers graze my forehead, sweeping away the sticky strands of hair there. “I heard you scream. And nothing… nothing has terrified me more.” I hear him swallow. Feel a swipe of his thumb across my cheekbone. “And it didn’t stop. You just kept screaming. So…” A pause. “We both know it will take more than a locked door to keep me from you.”

“Privacy?” His chuckle skitters up my spine, awakening my sleepy senses. “Darling, I’d be in this bed beside you if my brother hadn’t slipped a ring onto your finger.”

I shut my eyes, as though that could hide me from his words. From the reminder of my fate. I am betrothed to the king, and yet, my heart beats for his brother.

His voice is rough. “I’m sorry you’re forced to relive that moment every time you shut your eyes.” “Not every time.” I shift, slipping off his chest to sit beside him. “Not when I’m with you.” He props himself up on an elbow, tugging at my tank until I’m leaning down toward him. “Then I’ll never leave your side.” I give him a look. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” “It’s not promises I care to keep—it’s you.”

“You know,” he sighs, “I pictured a different forever for us. One that took place far from here. But if this is all we get…” He pauses, eyes as silver as the moonbeams pouring down on us. “Then we’ll make the most of it. I will be your Enforcer. Your rival. Your secret waiting beneath the willow.”

“Oh, my pretty Pae.” His words are a murmur against my lips. “For once, it is I who will be your undoing.” And in this moment, I would beg him to be just that. Would give anything to live out the rest of my days under this willow and in his arms.

Pae’s eyes meet mine, stripping me bare with a single swipe of them. Shockingly enough, I find gratitude lingering in her gaze, thanking me for enduring this alongside her. And, suddenly, the look of relief she wears at my mere presence proves to be reward enough.

Kitt likely blames himself for that battle in the Bowl, for being fooled into showing a Resistance member exactly how to get into the arena unseen. He blames himself for getting swept up in her.

He watches me now, an ache in his gaze that mirrors my own. I want nothing more than to be held by him, enveloped in the comfort of his arms.