Fearless (The Powerless Trilogy, #3)

by Lauren Roberts

For those fearless enough to follow their heart

Damn the pretending. Damn the hiding. Damn everything but him and us and this moment where I need him.

“And if we wish for our great kingdom to remain, we will welcome Ordinaries back into it.”

I thought I’d known torment until it wrapped around her finger. No, torment is tangible, and it gleams atop her tanned skin. I stare, unblinking, at the symbol my brother slid onto her finger. It is binding. It is infinite. It is my undoing. A laugh threatens to slip past my numb lips. It’s not as though she hadn’t promised to be my ruin, hadn’t already become my demise. She is the single most destructive thing I have ever desired, and yet, it is the diamond on her finger that will destroy me.

In love with a girl I’d have bowed to long before she became my queen.

I’ve been nothing but willing when it comes to drowning in those ocean eyes. But now, I can’t fathom drowning if she is not the anchor I’m sinking with.

I would spend the rest of my days making her flower crowns if she wanted to be a queen. My queen. Not Kitt’s. Not Ilya’s. Mine.

“You’re not supposed to touch me at all.” “But you could command me to,” I drawl. “Then I’d simply be following an order.”

“Oh, my pretty Pae.” His words are a murmur against my lips. “For once, it is I who will be your undoing.”

Loot is in shambles. My home is in shambles. And so is my heart.

For every end, there is always a beginning.

“But it has been years since the people have heard about me. Seen me. For all they know, I died shortly after giving birth to Kitt.”

“So bow at my feet with a sneer, if you must. I won’t see it with your face to the ground.”

With every step, I grow closer to becoming a queen. With every step, I grow closer to a united Ilya.

“Pae.” His voice is ragged. “I would lose my life for you before finding something else worth living for.” His fingers weave into my hair, slide along the back of my neck. “You are my inevitable. In life and in death.”

My voice is even and rough with smoke. “I told you I would make you beg.”

The stench of fried flesh fills the air, accompanied only by the screams of Adena’s killer.

This is pretend. This is— “Paedyn.” I can feel the exact moment my heart shatters. It’s when I turn, my eyes crashing into ones well memorized. When mist meets the deepest sea. When a Shadow faces its Flame. When inevitability meets its end. When I stare into the face of what it is I love most.

“You’re the Enforcer,” I manage weakly. “An Ordinary was never going to win this.” He shakes his head at me. “But you are not quite ordinary, are you?”

I’m spouting the same broken words atop the very sand that was once speckled with her blood. The same crowd is leaning in, once again watching the spectacle that is my heart splitting at the seams—a tear that Adena isn’t around to stitch back together.

“I can’t lose you, too. Please… please don’t leave me.”

Agony. That is this feeling. The one wrenching me in half, tearing apart my soul. But I don’t bother smothering it any longer.

It’s a chilling scream, one that can be heard even in the highest stands. I want the arena to feel my pain, taste it on the wind that carries away the soul Kai stained for me. Hot tears spill over my skin to drip atop the lifeless body of the boy I love.

I am grief. I am sorrow. I am anguish alike.

“It destroyed me. I tried to push my way to you, but the drugs weakened me, and I just… stood there while you fought for your life. Fought me.”

“You almost died thinking it was me who killed you. Thinking that I would ever lay a hand on you again for any reason other than a caress. I told you I would never fight you again, but there I was, hurting you like I promised not to.”

“Paedyn, I love you. Like nothing else before, I love you. And I’ve been waiting to tell you since I realized your eyes are my favorite color and your freckles the only constellation worth looking at. I could lie—say that you’ve stolen my every thought and heartbeat like the thief you are, but all of me was already yours. Pae, you are my inevitable.”

I feel delicate in his embrace, as though he is holding something priceless. Love.

“Would you like me to complete the Trial here? If you wish to be satisfied, it is your blood I can spill instead.”

“I am power earned, not gifted. I became one of you. Observant enough to pose as a Psychic, strong enough to survive your Trials. Over and over, I have proved myself worthy of your loyalty. “But I have faced far worse things than my own powerlessness.”

Looking at Paedyn Gray, I see a reckless sort of fearlessness, a power that swells from her vibrant soul.

My confession is breathy, nearly lost on the wind. “I love you.” Then I shiver, because I want him so recklessly that it shakes me to my very core. And tonight, he is mine.

Hello, Father.

Notes litter the bed, an open book beside them. The smell of roses grows bitter, life and death, past and present, all mingling in the air. A decaying flower atop a jewelry box, a fresh bouquet decorating the floor. A photograph of a stranger who is suddenly so much more. Calum is sprawled beside the evidence of his treachery—a man who was once my friend, turned Father who is now dead to me.

But Kitt had never memorized the eyes of Iris Moyra quite like his father had.

And when the tremble of bodies grows close enough, I watch knees bend before their queen. Hundreds of Ilyans kneel atop the cobblestone they once shared with Paedyn Gray. I stare as the people of these slums show their devotion for the girl who escaped—and has now returned to save them.

That is where he has always stood, torn in two different directions. Duty. Desire. Loyalty. Love.

“This is what I was made to be!” Kitt’s voice cracks. “If this is not myself, then I don’t know what is. I was created to be king, and that is what I am. That includes making the hard decisions. The brave, the benevolent, and the brutal.”

Stained sheets of paper tumble from the desk. The king watches them flutter delicately toward the ground. And then he follows.

“Bury me…” Kitt takes several shallow breaths. Then he smiles. “Under the willow tree. I… I won’t be lonely there.”

Kitt slips that steel band free. And with the last of his dwindling strength, whispers, “Love each other for me.”

Grief is my equal. Misery a mirror.

And when Paedyn throws open the door, a Healer at her side, I am lifeless on the floor beside my brother.

“At the end of a blade, I would love you. Until it pierced my throat, I would say ‘yes’ to you.”

We head down the quiet road, Kit’s hands in each of our own.

THEY NAMED HER KIT 😭😭😭

Until a flash of lilac has my gaze flicking to a shadowed corner of the street.

But I feel nothing. I do nothing. We stare at each other for several beats of my clamoring heart. In another lifetime, she was my enemy. Here, she is a stranger. I do not wish to avenge Adena any longer. I wish for her to rest.

A king. A queen. A princess. A rock and an ear of corn.