Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility

by Foster W. Cline

Rule One: Children do not earn their allowances. That means we do not pay them to do their chores. Being paid for chores robs them of the dignity of holding up their fair share of the family workload. The only time we’d pay them for chores is when they do our chores. Rule Two: Provide the allowance at the same time every week. This can be done with pay envelopes. Place the cash, plus a small invoice indicating the breakdown of the funds (for example, for a child in first grade, “$1 allowance, $6 lunch money”) inside an envelope with the child’s name on it. Sign the invoice, “Because we love you. Spend it wisely and make it last.” The child must then tend to the envelope. Rule Three: Never insist that children save the allowance. They can’t learn to handle money if they stash their allowance in a shoe box at the back of their closet, saving it for when they get big. Kids must go through their own economic depression — wasting money and then not having any when they need it — to learn about money. In general, people best learn to save only after they’ve learned how to be broke. Rule Four: As long as they’re not engaged in illegal activity, allow children to spend, save, or waste the money any way they see fit. They can use it to hire others to do their chores. They can even hire a babysitter if they don’t want to go somewhere with the family. But there’s a catch: When it’s gone, it’s gone. No more allowance until the next week’s envelope.