Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility

by Foster W. Cline

Before getting angry or sucked into the child’s problem, try using one of the following statements: “What a bummer.” “Really? I know you, and I’m sure you’ll come up with something.” “That’s terrible. How are you going to handle it?” “Oh, no, I’m glad that’s not my paper (report card, grade, late assignment, specific problem). You must feel awful. What can you do?” “Hmmm, that’s really an interesting way of looking at it. Let me know how that turns out.” “Wow, what a mess. Let me know what you come up with.” When we make these types of comments we don’t put ourselves up against our kids; we put ourselves squarely on their side, and on the side of their learning from their mistakes. They need to know we will be with them through it all but that we will not take away any of their responsibility in the process.