Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility

by Foster W. Cline

For many parents, setting limits means issuing commands and backing up those limits with more commands spiced with sternness and anger. They figure every time they say something to their kids, they’re setting limits, and the louder their voice gets and the more often they repeat it, the firmer the limits become. They may get results with their orders, but they’re setting their kids up for a fight (against them) and doing them a great disservice at the same time. You’ve probably noticed that there’s something different in how Love and Logic parents talk to kids. We’re always asking questions. We’re always offering choices. We don’t tell our kids what to do, but we put the burden of decision making on their shoulders. As they grow older, we don’t tell them what the limits are; we establish limits by offering choices.