Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility

by Foster W. Cline

Imagine yourself banging a fender in the parking lot at work. You feel bad about it, and when you come home that evening, you explain the accident to your spouse. “What!” your loving mate shrieks. “That really makes me mad. You know how you wanted to go skiing this weekend? Well, forget it. You’re grounded!” A ridiculous scenario? Of course. As adults we don’t get grounded when we mess up in life; nobody washes our mouths out with soap when we swear. Punishments don’t happen in the real world unless crimes are committed. When people are punished for something, they seldom pause for self-examination. Resentment is the more common reaction. The same holds true for children. When we send kids to bed early because they sassed us, we are doling out punishment. When children tote home all Ds and Fs on a report card and we rescind television privileges for two months, we are not allowing the consequences of mistakes to do the teaching.