“Choose my way or else.” When we say to our child, “You can either clean your room or lose your right to watch television,” it is no different from our boss saying to us, “Would you rather do that report today or get fired?” We must offer real choices, not threats: “Would you rather clean your room this morning or this afternoon?” (If the child says, “Neither,” wise parents say, “Not a wise decision. I’ll get back to you on this.” Consequences need not be immediate.) “Would you rather pick up your toys or hire me to do it?” “Do you want to spend your allowance on fun things this week or pay
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