Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility

by Foster W. Cline

“Uh-oh,” Mom says quietly in a sing-songy voice, “looks like someone needs a little private time to pull herself together.” Jasmine’s head raises and her limbs stop pounding the floor. She has heard this one before and knows what is coming next. Mom scoops Jasmine up lovingly and walks her to her room going through all six steps of using the “Uh-Oh” song: Step one: Sing out, “Uh-oh! Looks like a little bedroom time,” while quickly and gently moving the child to the recovery area. This is often the child’s room but can be any other place where the child cannot be with the family. Step two: Sing, “Feel free to have a nice little fit. We’ll see you when you are sweet.” Keep your voice melodic while saying this to avoid sounding angry, frustrated, and sarcastic. Step three: If necessary, offer choices about how the child will stay in the room: “Do you want to stay in your room with the door open or shut?” Then, if the child comes out, you say, “How sad. You chose shut.” If the child comes out again, offer another choice, “Do you want to stay in your room with the door shut or locked? It’s your choice.” If the child comes out again, you say, “How sad. You chose locked.” (Because most doors don’t have a lock on the outside, a good solution is to wedge a towel over the top of the door to keep it shut.) Safety is a prime consideration at this point, so stay close in case of emergency, but do not talk to the child through ...