In fact, lately I’ve been questioning whether God exists at all. I feel suspended between suspecting God is bogus and worrying that I’m being punished for thinking that, and for lying to him. Maybe that’s why I feel sick. Maybe that’s why everything feels so terrible right now. God, if you exist and you’re mad at me, I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have made a good nun. Every nun I’ve ever met has been resolute and unemotional. I am the opposite of that. Furthermore, a defining characteristic of nunship is a profound understanding of sisterhood, and I feel profoundly oblivious when it comes to that.
