All I did was hurt Samkiel, which you know was my intention. I wanted to drive him away, proving to myself that it was never real, that it never meant anything. I wanted him to hate me like I hated myself, maybe even punish me. All I was doing, though, was lying to myself and trying to bury my feelings. I loved him before Gabby died, and I blamed him and myself for her death. I truly believed my love for him was what killed her.
