“I had no idea you were such a germaphobe.” “It’s not a phobia. Just common sense and self-respect.” “Even if we put aside that the alcohol probably kills the germs anyway—” “Maybe.” “—you are ruining bar nights for me.” “Then I’ve succeeded.” “You don’t want me going to bars?” “No. I want you home on my dick, where you belong.” She laughs and smacks my arm like I’m kidding.
