Remember Us This Way

by Sheridan Anne

Our souls formed an impenetrable bond the day we first met, and since then, it’s only gotten stronger.

“I told you that you were the greatest love of my life,” I tell her, the words so hard to say out loud, but I know I meant every fucking word, maybe I still do. “That I would make you the happiest girl in the world and protect you with my life.”

We’re two halves of the same whole, and no matter how much I try to pull us apart and burn that tether between us, we’ll always be forced back together. It’s inevitable.”

“Just . . . When you finally realize that you deserve to be happy, come back to me.”

“You’ll never not be what I need,” I promise her. “Then I’ll never stop fighting for you.”

I’m going to die, whether we’re ready for it or not, and when that happens, I want to do it right here in your arms, not in some hospital, filled with drugs that are only making me feel worse. I want to live what little time I have left, and I want to do it right by your side.”

No matter what, wherever you go, I’ll always be right here, watching over you.”

“I love you more than life, Zoey,” he tells me. “I’m going to be right here, right ’til the end, and I swear, I’ll never let you go.”

After I’m gone, when you think about us and how we were together, I want you to remember us this way. Not the pain of losing me or the long days in that treatment center. I want you to remember these moments that were so unbelievably perfect that you took my breath away and left me feeling so overwhelmingly in love with you.”

“Promise me, Noah. Promise me you’ll remember us this way.”

“You have to understand, Zo, I never planned on you being a memory. When you’re gone, and I have to say goodbye, it’s going to destroy me. I don’t know how I’m going to survive it, but I promise, when the time comes that I’m able to think back and remember our life together, when just the mention of your name doesn’t tear me to shreds, I’ll remember us just like this.”

“I’m all in,” I tell him. “And while I might be a nineteen-year-old widow, I’ll also be the man who got to marry the love of his life and give her a day that she’ll always cherish. Getting to give her this will forever be my greatest achievement. No championship trophy or NFL contract will even come close.”

“Zo, you’ve been my world since the day I first met you. You’ve been my everything. My bestest friend, my partner in crime, my salvation when the world was closing in on me, and through it all, you’ve been the love of my life.

“It’s simple. I will love you. I will love you today, tomorrow, and every day until the heavens and the earth no longer exist. Whether you’re here by my side, sharing our lives together, or watching over me from above, I will love you. You’re my everything, Zoey James, and as long as my heart continues to beat, it will beat for you.”

“You were never supposed to be one of the many stars. You’re the whole damn sun.”

“And when you have kids,” she continues in a broken cry. “Will you tell them about me? About how much you loved me?”

“You’re my bestest friend, right from the beginning. You’ve mesmerized me, held me captive for eighteen years, and been the other half of me. Just like you said in your vows, baby. We’re twin flames, and I promise you, no matter where you are or what happens next, I will find you. Don’t be scared, Zo. I’ve got you.”

“Remember to dance among the stars, baby,” I tell her, desperately wishing that if she can’t stay here with me, that I could somehow find a way to go with her, to run headfirst into our next adventure hand in hand. “Be the sun in the sky.”

“It’s okay, Zozo. I’ve got you,” I whisper over the lump in my throat, my chest constricting with the most horrendous, soul-shattering agony. “You can let go now.”

“Soar, my sweet angel. Be free.”

With that, Zoey Ryan, the love of my life, my bestest friend, slips away, and that invisible tether that’s existed since the moment I first met her is severed, and everything in my world just . . . stops.

somehow find the strength to stand up and read the words I’ve written, each one of them describing the life we had together, the love we shared, and the rare friendship that became so much more.

These past eighteen years with you have been a whirlwind, and if I had the choice to do them again, I would. I would always do it again because the feeling of being loved so fiercely by such an incredible, loyal, and pure-hearted man was the greatest experience any woman could ever imagine, and you gave it to me every single day.

I’m not ready to say goodbye to you, so I won’t. Instead, all I’m going to say is the one thing that matters. I love you. I’ve loved you today, yesterday, and will continue to love you every moment until the end of time. I will always be waiting for you, Noah.