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want Noah Ryan to blow me away.
Tomorrow isn’t just going to be interesting; it’s going to be a personal tour right through the darkest pits of hell.
Noah Ryan. My Noah Ryan.
“It’s time to move on because this boring, moody Zoey is killing my vibe.
This girl is aggrivating! like shut up
her desperation threatens to give me hives,
Are they blind? Don’t they see how fucking precious she is? Shit. I can’t be thinking like this. She’s not mine, not anymore.
I couldn’t stand the thought of never seeing my family and Noah again.
If I can survive leukemia, I can survive him.
“If Linc were still here, he would have made sure I was alright, like Noah used to do for you.”
“You know Linc is watching over you, right? He’s not going to let anything happen to you. You were his sweet little Hazel Girl.”
Zoey James has me weak, and I don’t like it.
“I told you that you were the greatest love of my life,”
“Maybe it was because I was so young, and you were all I knew. You were my whole world, Noah. I never could have dreamed that you’d be the person I’d need protecting from.”
Zoey and I . . . We’re two halves of the same whole, and no matter how much I try to pull us apart and burn that tether between us, we’ll always be forced back together. It’s inevitable.”
Checkmate, Noah Ryan. Check-fucking-mate.
i love Zoey so much
It was another world back then, back when Linc was still here, and we didn’t understand the true meaning of hurt.
“Why do you look like you suddenly have the overwhelming urge to go get a rectal exam?”
The darkness has consumed me, and while she shines brighter than any star in the sky, my darkness will drown her.
“Just . . . When you finally realize that you deserve to be happy, come back to me.”
The closet door clicks closed behind him, and my heart breaks all over again.
“You’ll never not be what I need,” I promise her. “Then I’ll never stop fighting for you.”
“WHAT IN THE EVER-LOVING DONUTS ARE YOU DOING?”
Noah Ryan is going places, and as soon as he learns how to navigate the darkness swirling within him, he’s going to fly. I just hope that when he does, I get to be right there watching from the sidelines.
I’ve done nothing but hurt her, and in those times when she needed me the most, I wasn’t there.
“I’ve always been yours, Zoey.”
I don’t want to grieve for him anymore. I want to celebrate him.
She was the glue that kept us all together—kept me together.
“Zoey James is my fucking girl. An attack on her is a direct attack on me. You fuck with her, you fuck with me. If I hear even a whisper of the word trash within the walls of this school, every last one of you will pay the price for the hell you’ve put her through.”
“You have me back. I’m home, Zoey. I’m not going anywhere.”
Crying
“Zoey Erica James.” “Noah McFunPolice Ryan.”
I try to figure out how the hell I’m supposed to say goodbye to my whole damn world.
“Not goodbye, Zo. Just see you later.”
I’m living on borrowed time. Maybe death is finally knocking on my door, demanding it’s time to come home.
“But the beauty is that we have each other to be scared with, and when you have someone holding your hand, sometimes those scary things really aren’t so bad.”
It hits me like a fucking train. I have cancer. Again.
“I’ve got you, Zo,” I vow. “Whatever you need, I’ve got you.”
my heart is shattering
because a world without Zoey isn’t a world I want to live in. How could I? She’s the other half of my soul. We’re two halves of the same whole. Without her, my life will no longer hold value to me.
She’s my everything, my heart, my love, and I will burn my world to ashes if it means getting to hold her through her darkest days.
Zoey is my salvation. She’s my savior, and now she needs me to be hers, but I don’t know what I can do to make her pain go away.
“We’re going to have it all, Zo. Just you and me until the end of time.”
“You’re my person, Noah. So if this little sweet thing is my baby, that means by default, you’re her daddy.”
My body is giving up, and it’s no longer a question of if I will die, it’s when.
i am shattered and im dreading the end
“Promise me, Noah. Promise me you’ll remember us this way.”
pure pain right now
“In that case, I’m coming back as your favorite pair of panties,”
he inevitably walks me through to the end, our hearts entwined until the end of time.
“Always, Zo. Every day I’ll think of you. Morning. Noon. Night. You’ll always be right there, and anywhere I go, I’ll be able to take you with me.”
“Remember to dance among the stars, baby,”
She’s gone. Zoey is gone. My bestest friend, my confidant, my whole fucking world.
I’ve never felt such despair, such excruciating, intense grief. It’s like that vise around my heart has finally pushed through my limits and crushed me from the inside out.
My Zoey is gone.
