Remember Us This Way

by Sheridan Anne

Our souls formed an impenetrable bond the day we first met, and since then, it’s only gotten stronger.

“With all due respect, Mr. James. No,” I tell him. “There’s too much history, and you know damn well that Zoey isn’t just going to walk away. I see it in her eyes. She thinks she can somehow save me, and you and I both know that means she’s never going to give up. You can try and keep her away from me all you like. I’ll fucking beg you to, but you can’t. I know you’re just trying to look out for your daughter. I’d do the same if I were you, but this needs to be her decision. Zoey and I . . . We’re two halves of the same whole, and no matter how much I try to pull us apart and burn that tether between us, we’ll always be forced back together. It’s inevitable.”

I feel like I’m home. Like the other half of my soul has finally returned to set me free, and it’s the most phenomenal feeling in the world.

“Just . . . When you finally realize that you deserve to be happy, come back to me.”

“You’ll never not be what I need,” I promise her.

“Then I’ll never stop fighting for you.”

when I’m done, I lift the shaver to my own head, pushing it through my dark hair before she gets a chance to stop me. Her eyes widen as her jaw slackens. “NOAH!” she screeches. “What the hell are you doing?” “If you get to be a sexy little baldie, then why the hell can’t I?” I say, really driving home the point that it’s just hair.

We do whatever we need to do to keep you breathing. You hear me, Zozo? I’m not fucking losing you.”

After I’m gone, when you think about us and how we were together, I want you to remember us this way. Not the pain of losing me or the long days in that treatment center. I want you to remember these moments that were so unbelievably perfect that you took my breath away and left me feeling so overwhelmingly in love with you.” She holds my gaze, pausing for just a moment. “Promise me, Noah. Promise me you’ll remember us this way.”

“You have to understand, Zo, I never planned on you being a memory. When you’re gone, and I have to say goodbye, it’s going to destroy me. I don’t know how I’m going to survive it, but I promise, when the time comes that I’m able to think back and remember our life together, when just the mention of your name doesn’t tear me to shreds, I’ll remember us just like this.”