Without this, I’m going to spiral out of control. I’m going to end up hurting someone, and not just the surface-level bullshit I’ve been dishing out, but the real, life-changing kind of shit that will live with me for the rest of my life. I don’t want to be this fucking person anymore. I don’t like hearing my mother cry at night, and I sure as fuck don’t like hurting Zoey and pushing her away. That pain is the only thing I’ve felt in three years, but if I force myself to feel anything else or to deal with the real issues at hand, it will fucking drown me.
