Remember Us This Way

by Sheridan Anne

“It’s okay,” he tells me, slipping his hand into mine. “As long as they don’t take you away from me, then it’s going to be alright.”

“Don’t tell anybody how much I like your stupid girl kisses.”

I’m not hers to save. Not anymore.

Our souls formed an impenetrable bond the day we first met, and since then, it’s only gotten stronger.

Noah Ryan won’t break me down. If I can survive leukemia, I can survive him.

“I told you that you were the greatest love of my life,” I tell her, the words so hard to say out loud, but I know I meant every fucking word, maybe I still do. “That I would make you the happiest girl in the world and protect you with my life.”

“Maybe it was because I was so young, and you were all I knew. You were my whole world, Noah. I never could have dreamed that you’d be the person I’d need protecting from.”

We’re two halves of the same whole, and no matter how much I try to pull us apart and burn that tether between us, we’ll always be forced back together. It’s inevitable.”

I know she feels like I’ve put this distance between us, and she’s right, I have, but in some way, I’ve always been right here, she just never knew it. My fingers continue

intense training.

“Just . . . When you finally realize that you deserve to be happy, come back to me.”

“You’ll never not be what I need,” I promise her. “Then I’ll never stop fighting for you.”

“You have me back. I’m home, Zoey. I’m not going anywhere.”

“It means, Zoey,” I say, annunciating every word, making sure she truly hears me. “That I’m home, and that I’m going to start making up for all the hurt I’ve caused you over the past three years. I’m not going anywhere, and I’m sure as hell not about to let you go again. I want to put your heart back together.”

“Damn straight, you can, Zozo. You’re a fighter, and I’m not nearly done with you yet.”

“Nothing would make me happier,” I tell her. “We’re going to have it all, Zo. Just you and me until the end of time.”

Zoey grins wide. “From The Notebook,” she tells me as though I should have already figured it out. “Noah and Allie. I’ve already got my Noah, but I need an Allie to complete the set.”

“If you get to be a sexy little baldie, then why the hell can’t I?”

After I’m gone, when you think about us and how we were together, I want you to remember us this way. Not the pain of losing me or the long days in that treatment center. I want you to remember these moments that were so unbelievably perfect that you took my breath away and left me feeling so overwhelmingly in love with you.” She holds my gaze, pausing for just a moment. “Promise me, Noah. Promise me you’ll remember us this way.”

“You have to understand, Zo, I never planned on you being a memory. When you’re gone, and I have to say goodbye, it’s going to destroy me. I don’t know how I’m going to survive it, but I promise, when the time comes that I’m able to think back and remember our life together, when just the mention of your name doesn’t tear me to shreds, I’ll remember us just like this.”

I nod, holding his stare and letting him see just how ready I am. “I’m all in,” I tell him. “And while I might be a nineteen-year-old widow, I’ll also be the man who got to marry the love of his life and give her a day that she’ll always cherish. Getting to give her this will forever be my greatest achievement. No championship trophy or NFL contract will even come close.”

“It’s simple. I will love you. I will love you today, tomorrow, and every day until the heavens and the earth no longer exist. Whether you’re here by my side, sharing our lives together, or watching over me from above, I will love you. You’re my everything, Zoey James, and as long as my heart continues to beat, it will beat for you.”

“You were never supposed to be one of the many stars. You’re the whole damn sun.”

With that, Zoey Ryan, the love of my life, my bestest friend, slips away, and that invisible tether that’s existed since the moment I first met her is severed, and everything in my world just . . . stops.

I gape at it, watching its beauty as it flies, knowing without a doubt that was my girl.