What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding

by Kristin Newman

After that, one scary moment became something I was always willing to have in exchange for the possible payoff. I became a girl who knew how to take a deep breath, suck it up, and walk into any room by herself.

We sat over the river, and talked about how the river had become something unique and amazing just by cruising along on its path. How even if your life seemed quiet and typical, you never knew if around the next bend you were about to become something spectacular. Or fall spectacularly in love.

good things must end but can also be continued

You can’t control everything. Just enjoy what the world is giving you.

Do we want the same things out of life? Do we bring out the best in each other? Do we find each other attractive?

“In Judaism, the way you learn to love someone is by giving to them,” she said. “The more you give to a person, the more you end up loving them. If love is just a feeling, and that feeling changes, then what? Love has to be something you choose to build.”

“Plus, men can’t touch us for two weeks out of the month, so when you have those two weeks together in one bed, it’s always really exciting,” she added. “And for those other two weeks, you have to find ways to connect that aren’t sexual, which is so important, too.”

“The deep feeling of oneness you have with someone when you’ve done all of the work on yourself you have to do to make a marriage work doesn’t take away your independence. It frees you to be the person you actually are. It wipes away all that nasty ego stuff, and lets your soul shine through.”