What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding

by Kristin Newman

I wanted love, but I also wanted freedom and adventure, and those two desires fought like angry obese sumo wrestlers in the dojo of my soul. That wrestling match threatened to body-slam me into a veritable Bridget-Jonesian-sad-girl singlehood, which I was resolutely against, both personally and as an archetype. And so to ward that off, I kept moving.

Getting married young is gambling on a game you don’t know how to play. You don’t know who either of you is going to become. If you get married before you are fully cooked, you have no idea if you are marrying someone who will ultimately be compatible with you. 2. Marriage is a limiter. It limits your freedom, and it limits your capacity to follow your dreams. If you do make the mistake of growing while married, your marriage will end. 3. No matter how in love you start out, no matter how much you dance in the kitchen and lock the bedroom door on Saturday mornings, love will die.

“With no thoughts, with no words, what am I?”

Sasha always cautioned against the power of the moo-cow. Because a moo-cow feels great, but it can lead you down the wrong roads. It can make you stay with the wrong person, but, worse, it can make you break up with the right person just because the two of you never have any moo-cows, which, while they feel fantastic, are ultimately meaningless.