Show Don't Tell

by Curtis Sittenfeld

But there’s another surprise, which is that most of the questions she asks him, he asks her back—before they move on to the next topic, he says, “What about you?” This is surprising both because he’s famous and because he’s a man.

As you make your way through the world, you will feel bewildered, appalled, and charmed by other people. In the real version of all our days, as opposed to the version we publicly present, there are many undignified moments. The circumstances that distress you and the circumstances that distress someone else might not overlap in the slightest. In situations that make you nervous, do your best and proceed; others before you have also been nervous.

There are a fair number of habits that preppy men have that I no longer find endearing, if I ever did—smugness, resource hoarding—but, on occasion, a preppy man with good manners and beer on his breath can still make me weak in the knees.