By a Thread

by Lucy Score

George bellowed. His third chin vibrated with rage.

“It’s colder than a snowman’s balls in here,” she complained.

Now, if you can point me in the direction of human resources, I’ll get out of your hair, and if we’re both very, very lucky, we’ll never see each other again.” I would have liked to point her in the direction of an open window.

“That was a close one,” Ally observed, taking another bite of banana. “She almost took your balls with her.”

looking like fifty-percent-off day at the second-hand church sale.”

The look I shot him should have made his balls shrivel into raisins.

Me still staring at him as if he’d just announced he had four testicles and dreamed of someday raising miniature donkeys.

“Don’t play dumb. You’re not pretty enough for that,”

he’s so hot I bet he can make scrambled eggs on his abs,”

She raised an eyebrow. “Chocolate?” “Duh. Don’t say the v-word in my presence,” I warned.

“Will you sleep it off with me?” I tried to wink and show her my underused flirtatious side. “Are your eyes bothering you?” she asked. I tried the wink again. “No.” “You’re blinking weird.” “I’m not blinking. I’m winking.”

“Did you ever have it checked?” I asked. “What checked?” “The thing that crawled up your skinny ass and died.”

I didn’t have the energy to dodge the slap. Plus I’d just caught a glimpse of a cheese danish that was calling my name and kind of missed the diva-worthy wind-up.