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“Is it because of what happened at the Academy,” he asked, tipping his head, “or is it because of me?” “Don’t flatter yourself.”
“Is there a reason you’re standing in my bedroom, Madden? Because if not, I’d appreciate it if you could leave so I can—” “Put some clothes on?” Madden took a pointed step closer so that he could fully enter the room. “That’s okay. I like you better this way.”
“How long are you going to call me by title? You’re literally in my bedroom right now staring at me naked.” “Too formal for you?” Madden took another step closer. “How about…Baby?”
“You flatter yourself too much.” Madden sat up. “Why? Who gave better head than me? Was it Flix?” “Why do you sound jealous every time you say his name?”
“Probably because I am,” Madden said. He pressed a hand over his heart. “It feels very uncomfortable here whenever I think about the two of you fucking behind my back.” Berga stared, waiting for the punchline that never came. “I can’t screw someone behind your back. You and are I aren’t together.”
“I do not want.” He sort of did. Good Light, what was wrong with him? Abstain. That was his plan.
“I have no idea what you want from me,” he admitted. “And that’s a problem.” “I’ll simplify it for you then,” Madden offered. “For now, I just want to spend the night here with you. In this bed.”
“You do realize I could melt your insides, right? You wouldn’t even know it was happening until it was too late.” “Yeah,” he grinned, “that’s kind of hot.” “What is wrong with you?” “Cute, coming from the guy who just threatened to turn me to goo.”
So they were both fucked up. Shocker.
“On the couch? Not in the bed with you?” “Why would he sleep in bed with me?” Did friends…do that? “Do you share a bed with Kelevra sometimes?” Berga pictured it. And didn’t like it. At all.
“Stay or don’t. I’m going to shower.” “I’ll join you.” “You will not.” Berga still needed that moment to think, and it seemed whenever Madden was around, that was next to impossible.
The only explanation was Madden. He was the only new factor to the equation. Berga had heard him through the ringing in his ears and the panic. Why? What was so special about the Mad King that Berga’s subconscious was willing to listen, even in the midst of hysteria? No one had ever been able to pull him from that abyss before, not even Flix.
It seemed like the more he learned about the Butcher, the more he realized he had absolutely no clue who he was. That was going to change.
Madden took a step back toward the door, pausing when Berga’s hand shot out and grabbed his wrist. “Relax,” he patted his hand and then removed it, “I’m coming right back. Hold on.”
It was a beautiful face, too. All soft edges—even the tips of his gemstone horns were more rounded off than anything. Safe enough they wouldn’t cut anyone while kissing. Or giving head. Or—
“You might break on me.” “I don’t mind that.” “Well,” Madden couldn’t believe he was saying this but, “I do.”
At some point, the tub had filled and shut off, steam creating a foggy atmosphere around them. The whole thing was weirdly intimate—and not because they were both naked.
Madden felt himself swept away by the interest in Berga’s eyes. By the way the other man held himself as he listened to the story. The way he laughed at the funny parts and snorted at the not-so-funny ones.
“I will.” “When?” “When I’m certain you won’t fall apart if I do.”
Madden stepped back into the bedroom to continue the conversation, sticking close enough to the open doorway he could hear Berga if…He wasn’t sure what. But the idea of leaving the Butcher alone when he’d been so messed up only a little while ago didn’t sit right with him.
This might be his best friend on the phone, but whatever had passed between him and Berga just now had been unique. Special.
“In some ways, I still experience it. Flix—” “We aren’t talking about Flix. Although, this seems like the perfect time to point out that he’s away on vacation. I was the one who was here for you when you needed someone the most, Butcher.”
“Nothing?” His body stiffened, but Berga was already glancing away. “What about what happened in the bathroom?” “Thank you for that,” Berga said, eyes slipping shut once more. “I needed the distraction.” Distraction? Was that all Madden was to him? A distraction?
Madden didn’t know what to call them, but he knew he wanted more moments like that. Which meant he needed to turn this thing between them into something more than a mere distraction. He needed to make the Butcher yearn for him as intensely as he himself had been yearning this past week.
He needed to make himself the type of problem the Butcher couldn’t get off his mind, no matter how hard he tried. And he knew just the way to go about it.
That was it. Madden would show Berga exactly what he’d been missing out on by ignoring him all week.
Then he’d have Berga right where he wanted him, as desperate and needy as he was to recreate that moment in the bathroom. To remake that connection. The way only the two of them could. Together.
In all his musings, Madden had forgotten the most important thing. They were both Devils of Vitality. And there was only one way to get the upper hand with one of them. Dominate them, completely and totally.
Madden was going to empty Berga’s mind and fill it up with useless thoughts of him—Useless, not meaningless. He’d make it so that all the Butcher thought about when they were apart was this coming moment, waking already in the process of being taken.
“I don’t like being ignored, and you’ve got days of missed calls and unreplied text messages to make up for,” he stated. “You owe me. You’re going to pay me back with this plump ass of yours. It’s not a negotiation, Butcher. Why do you think I wisely tied you up first? You need to learn who you belong to.”
“I don’t think so,” he disagreed. “I think it’s sexy. I think you’ve never looked hotter than you do right now. Besides,” time for part two, “it’s not any worse than what the rest of you is covered in.”
He shushed Berga again as he watched him slowly begin to unravel, and actually felt a little bad about his hand in things. “I like you better when you’re put together,” Madden murmured, realizing that truth himself.
“You look pretty though,” he insisted. “It matches your eyes.” Not really. Berga’s eyes were more of a fuchsia than red.
“The jokes on you, though, because now you really do have blood on you.” Berga licked at the speck of red coating his full bottom lip. “I’ve just decided that your blood doesn’t count.” “That so?” That sounded…dangerous.
“I want to split you open and crawl around inside of you,” Berga suddenly dropped away, falling back against the pillow, words spilling from his crimson-stained lips in a flourish that almost didn’t make sense.
It was crazy to think that something like this, being tied up and taken advantage of by another Devil, could be the key to unlocking his trauma, though. Wouldn’t it?
Berga was too broken. Too fucked up. Even if Madden managed to stitch parts of him back together again, so what? What about the rest of him?
Royal Madden Odell? That bitch was pure, undiluted chaos.
Sila snorted. “He wants to know what’s wrong with him.” “There’s nothing wrong with him,” Madden corrected, then to Bay added, “But yes, basically.”
“Look, I need to know what’s going on with him in order to—” “Help him?” Bay cut him off. “Or control him?” Both, actually, but Madden smartly kept his mouth shut.
“The crux of it all?” Bay said. “Berga really has a fear of abandonment.” “What?” that didn’t sound right, no matter which way Madden spun it.
“He doesn’t let anyone close to him,” Sila stated. “Pity really. We’d have so much fun checking people’s insides together.” “Varun,” Bay warned, and Sila actually grinned behind him as though finding the chiding tone endearing.
“You want him to trust you? Make him,” he shrugged a single shoulder. “Make him depend on you for one thing or another. Better if it’s for everything. If he can’t function without you, he can’t push you away. It’s not that difficult, especially not for someone like you. Don’t lie and tell me they didn’t teach you any manipulation tactics at the Academy. I know better. And don’t say something stupid like, ‘You shouldn’t manipulate the ones you love.’. Neither of us are good people, and neither of us have ever cared to be.”
“Berga has a possessive personality,” Sila said. “No doubt bolstered by that pesky fear of loss that’s constantly dragging him down. If you want him, you have to trick him into thinking it’s his idea to want you back. Turn yourself into one of his possessions. Or,” he cocked his head, “is that going to bruise your pride?”
“Do I look like Kazimir Ambrose to you?” Sila chuckled. “Not in the slightest. He opted for physical force to get his man. You and I both know that’s not going to be enough to catch someone like Berga.
Madden lifted a brow. “Bay tell you about his talk with Berga or something?” “Over lunch,” he shamelessly confirmed. “We tell each other everything.” “So that means you know what happened to Berga to make him like this.”
Even still, he couldn’t tear his gaze away as Madden swung a long leg over his bike and seated himself. When he waved at the crowd, lapping up the attention, Berga scoffed. Why did he suddenly feel prickly all over? This was stupid. What was he even doing here? Trying to get Madden’s attention? To what end?
Less than forty-eight hours ago, that asshole had him tied up, peppering his neck with kisses, whispering garbage about how “cute and good” Berga was, but he was just standing there laughing while all those people hung all over him like they had a right to it.
Berga would become a joke. And then it wouldn’t just be his parents who no longer wanted him. It’d be the whole damn world.
In front of him, the girl in pink giggled and peered up at him with eyes filled with love. The last person who’d ever looked at him that way. He reached for her, freezing when he saw his bloodstained fingers.
