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“Charming,” I purr flirtatiously. “Am I swooning you?” He lets out a nervous puff of air. “There’s a distinct possibility that my knees are a little weak.”
“I am equal parts terrified and turned on by your nerdiness.”
I’ve forgotten how to breathe and I’m fine with it. I’m completely fine with not breathing if it means Ash will kiss me.
I feel her shift, and for a moment, I fear she will move, and I’m not ready to let this go. To let her go. Her hug is warm and soft, and I feel whole here. I don’t want to give it up. I want to keep this hug. I want to keep her. I know I can’t, I know we can’t. But I will hold on to this hug and steal a couple more seconds before the real world comes calling again.
I fucked up. That mask I told her she wasn’t allowed to wear, she just firmly placed it back on.
I just had sex with Ash. I just had feral, primal, outdoor thunderstorm sex with Ash. I came so hard my legs were trembling. I’m not a trembling orgasm girl. Or I didn’t think I was. But apparently, when having the best sex of my life, I definitely am.
I’ve seen that type of love once before. Ren’s husband, Atlas, looks at her the exact same way. It’s like she is an angel walking the earth. There hasn’t been a time she has walked in front of him that his entire being didn’t light up and glow.
“Are you going to put me down?” I ask once the elevator doors close. “Not a chance in hell,” he mutters. “I’ve seen how fast you can run.”
I think I’ve won the fight until my son—my own flesh and fucking blood—looks at me with the eyes that I created for him and smirks.
“So, it’s not just straight men that say the absolute worst things. Is it just something hardwired in y’all’s nuts or something?” He snickers. “Yep, the left is for baby making, the right is for poor word choices. Everyone knows that.
“You know, sunshine,” he says with a breathy laugh. “I could be gracious and not make you feel like a dick,” he shrugs. “But I’m in a shit mood today, so I’m going to make it your problem.”
There’s a part of me that hopes beyond hope that maybe I might be at least part of those priorities.
“Try something, and I’ll burn your kingdom to the ground, Johnson.” I was unaware that I had a kingdom. Nevertheless, I fear her burning it.
“If you want me to go for some reason, I will. But I’m going to go and lie in my bed and knock on that wall every twenty minutes, and the one time I don’t get a knock in response, I’m coming right back over here.” “W-what if I’m sleeping?” she breathes out, and I shrug. “Sounds like a problem you might want to figure out before I leave. Or, just let me stay.”
Suddenly, I know I have a huge, massive, world-ending problem. “Sunday? Are you okay? Why are you looking at me like that?” Fuck my life. I think I’m actually in love with Ash Johnson.
“You know, that’s not really safe,” he says teasingly, and I roll my eyes. “Neither is you speaking at this moment, yet here we are, laughing in the face of danger.”
“Sunshine,” he pants out slowly. “Yeah?” I manage between heavy breaths. “I uhhh… I don’t think this friend thing is working out.” I can’t help the surprised laugh that escapes me. “Yeah, charming, no shit.”
“Oh my god!” she gasps as she pulls down my hoodie neckline. “Atlas, he’s been bitten.” Atlas drops his paper towel roll. “And you weren’t going to tell us?” he breathes out, his voice going hoarse. “You were going to let the infection spread? I have a wife, man… a wife with a baby on the way.” He shakes his head before looking up at the ceiling. “Just close your eyes and think of your happy place. I’ll make this quick.” I flip him off and go to get up, but Atlas tackles me to the ground. “Get off of me, you hippo!” I grunt while he fights me to see the bite. “Shhh! Just look at the
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“Well, start locking your door. What if a crazy person just waltzes in here?” “One just did!” he huffs while standing up.
“So, is that the only reason you came over?” I stare up at him as he gives me a suggestive smirk. “You’re a pig.” “Yet here you are, begging to court me. Trying to make me a proper lady and such.”
“I said fill it, sunshine. Your fingers or mine, choose wisely.” I warn, and this brat drops a finger out of her.
When she reaches down, I notice the red string around her wrist, and I know exactly what it’s from. It’s the red yarn I grabbed from Indy’s crochet stuff to tie Sunday’s bag of Starbursts. I wanted to see if she remembered what I told her about it. And now, it’s on her wrist. Shit.
“Ash is probably one of the greatest men I’ve ever met. And I’ve seen what your abuse has done to him. I’ve seen the scars you left. And I hate you for it. I hate you more than I’ve ever hated another human, which says a fucking lot, trust me. I’m just thankful you don’t have him anymore because you never deserved him. He’s a good man. He’s kind, caring, and protective, and he deserves someone to give him that in return.”
“Shit,” Derek curses, grabbing her small shoulders and helping her. “You alright, darlin’?” Oh my god, I think we all just got a raging lady boner on Indy’s behalf.
Love shouldn’t be involved. Even though lately, I’ve had this overwhelming feeling of wanting her close to me all the time. To touch her, kiss her, fuck, just to stare at her. Those feelings have been terrifying the absolute fuck out of me. Partly because I don’t know what it is or why I’m feeling it and partly because I think I do know what the feeling is. And I don’t know if it’s a feeling I’m comfortable with.
“Most days. She’s young and strong and has her stupid, overly positive attitude that helps.” I clear my throat before continuing. “Indy has a couple of illnesses, but the main one is RRMS, which is a type of multiple sclerosis.” I hear him take a sharp breath and I feel irritation course through me. I don’t want him to take a sharp breath for Indy. That’s not his job. I take all the sharp breaths for her.
“I don’t forgive you,” I growl out. “I won’t forgive you just like that.” “I know,” he replies. “But I do know that this,” he says as he gestures between us. “This isn’t where our story ends, sunshine.”
“I haven’t earned the right to be back with you. And besides, when we do get back together, I want it to be real. I want us to move in together, and I want boyfriend and girlfriend labels. I want you to have stability and security. I want you to trust me. And I want to give you and Wade all those things. So, I’m going to win you back.” “Okay,” I say cautiously. “How so? And how long will this take?” He shrugs. “We have time, sunshine.”
“I’m almost fourteen and in an apartment with controlled access. I think I can handle being alone for a couple of hours while you go be gross with my mom.” “We’re going for tacos,” I reply flatly. “Is that what you kids are calling it now?”
Sunday, baby, do you have any idea why I call you sunshine?” I shrug lightly. “Originally, I figured it was the pet name you decided on to annoy me or you’d forgotten my name.” Ash shakes his head. “No, sunshine, it’s because, from the moment you walked into my train wreck of a life, you brought a light that I’d never experienced. You’re like the sun. You would take that light and warmth with you every time you left. And I don’t want to ever experience another day, moment, or second without your warmth, light, or love.”
